Thursday, August 24, 2017

Becoming Nicole: The Transformation of an American Family by Amy Ellis Nutt

While this is mostly the moving story of one family trying to find their way as they discover that one of their children is transgender it is also a little bit of the science of gender. It is totally moving and amazing.

I love this family. I want to hug them and tell them how much I was moved by their openness and what they went through to get where they are now. It was a journey for each of them and it was often painful.

Mom Kelly and Dad Wayne adopt identical twins Jonas and Wyatt and feel like they have finally become the family they had been dreaming of when they fell in love and got married.

Wayne is a conservative man who spent time in the military before he met Kelly. They are just what most people would consider a normal traditional values type family. Nothing shocking or over the top about them. Just pretty average. Well except for the twins, double the babies is a little over the top in the lack of sleep and diapers to change areas.

As soon as they could express themselves Wyatt was different from his identical twin. Wyatt wanted dolls and dresses. Wyatt wanted long hair and to be a princess. Wyatt hated his "boy parts" and knew they were wrong and not supposed to be on him. Wyatt was not a boy, Wyatt knew deep down and with out a shred of doubt that he was a she, Wyatt was a girl.

Wayne had a much, much longer road to getting to a place of acceptance. Kelly and Jonas were supportive right away and Kelly did everything she could to learn about what it means to be transgender and fight for Wyatt to be Nicole.

What unfolds is love, coming to terms with mourning the child you thought you had as you shift to the child you have in front of you, fighting bullies, fighting for right, advocating for your family, sacrifice for the ones you love, and coming to terms with life as it is and not what you thought it would be. The Maines family made me cry and cheer for them. They are so strong and brave.

Sprinkled in their personal story, which is so very important, is interesting information on the brain, biology, and what makes us physically male and female and what makes us a specific gender or fall somewhere between genders.

(Finished August 24, 2017)

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