What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker: A Memoir in Essays by Damon Young

This was the next book in my antiracist reading books. I am not only reading specific books about antiracism and being antiracist, I am including books on Black history and books about and by Black people. My thinking on this is that choosing everyday to be antiracist is more than just reading "how to" books. It is also choosing to support whenever and wherever possible Black owned businesses.  It is also reading books that are both nonfiction and fiction by Black authors on many topics . My thinking here is that if I want to truly learn and be a positive ally I need to hear, really hear, Black voices and not what white people think Black voices and stories sound/look like. 

I have seen Damon on different news programs giving commentary and was intrigued and so bought his book. I am really glad I did. 

Something I won't be doing in this write up is talking about anything this book made me feel with one exception which I hope when you read it you and Damon (and not that he will but if he did read this) don't mind.  

Damon writes with such raw emotion and vulnerability about his life. He also writes with so much humor that there were times I laughed out loud even as I cringed for teenage Damon or college age Damon. He shares his insecurities and mistakes as well as his triumphs. His love for his parents is on every page even when the story he is sharing isn't about them, but when you hold the thread of his stories together you can see the bigger picture. 

Damon is very open about his feelings about white people and the way we have made him, the way we have made Black people for centuries, feel. And yes I am saying we, because even as I, and hopefully you if you too are white and reading this, try to be better each day, to fight for systemic changes, we have benefited in so many ways, the majority of it unearned, in this system as it is setup. And so we are part of the problem. I don't care nor do I want to know if you feel uncomfortable with any of his stories or the feelings he shares...And I don't think Damon does either...

EXCEPT....here is the feels I was telling you I would share....when Damon writes about his daughter...and his desires for her future and the way he felt when she was born and the way he talks to her about what she can do as/when she grows up is the most heartfelt, heartbreaking, loving, life affirming, beautiful....I had all the feels and was so grateful for his sharing the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly, but especially the worry about how in the hell am I supposed to take care of this tiny human being, I don't even know if I can take care of myself...too may new fathers, too many new mothers, feel this but worry they will be judged for it...

The rawness and realness that Damon shares is more than we deserve....I am a firm believer in do the work yourself white people and stop asking the BIPOC you know to do it for you...and so when someone writes a book or a blog, records a podcast or video, writes and article...read it, listen to it, watch it...because they are giving you a gift....This is just such a gift....

(Finished August 17, 2020)