Darius the Great Is Not Okay by Adib Khorram

I have a confession to make. I get very attached to and maybe too emotionally invested in fictional characters. And I am ok with that.

I love Darioush (the Iranian form of Darius' name). I wanted to hug him, to bake him some cookies and tell him he can have cookies and salad, life is about balance (an area I need to learn to practice what I preach about), and to tell him he is ok and normal is overrated.

This was such a lovely book. There were lots of geeky references to LoTR and Star Trek. It was moving and sad and happy and important.

So many young people (and not so young) have some level of clinical depression or some other form of mental health diagnosis. There has been for so long, for too long, a stigma attached to it that asking for help has become almost as painful if not more so than the diseases themselves. I feel like Darius' story might help some with that.

I truly believe that ALL OF US, everyone, has at one time or another not felt completely comfortable in our own skin, regardless of our mental health. We have all wondered about where we fit in and look for that place of belonging. Some of us are lucky and find it easily others struggle for a lifetime. Darius The Great Is Not Ok is about that journey and the pain and misunderstandings in our own heads and between us and our peers and family that can come from this misfit, broken feeling.

I truly appreciated the Afterword and Adib sharing his own struggle with depression. And I appreciated his mention of how exhausting and difficult it is for both the person with it and their loved ones and caregivers. As the parent of a child (well not for long, she will be 18 in less than 2 months) with a mental illness I can attest that it is so very exhausting but you keep going anyway, even when you feel like you can't.

Oh and I can't end without saying how much I enjoyed the descriptions of the customs and places Darius encountered when he went to visit his grandparents in Iran. Adib writes so well and in such a conversational and descriptive way that I could see what Darius saw. It was wonderful.

This was just such a moving read and one that will stay with me now forever. You need to read it too. Seriously!! Trust me.

(Finished August 31, 2018)

P.S. I Still Love You (To All the Boys I've Loved Before #2) by Jenny Han

As I said in my review of To All the Boys I've Loved Before  I loved it and couldn't wait to read book 2 but Barnes & Noble was out of it and I had to wait. Well I got it, then had a million things to do yesterday so I didn't get to spend the day with Lara Jean until today. I love her still. Her heart and curiosity and innocence which made her such a great character, they are all traits she still has. But she learns some new and painful lessons here. But she does it with the grace and charm I fell for in book 1.

I had some very mixed feelings about Kitty. At times she is wise beyond her years and it comes across as helpful and like she is growing up too soon, like she is an old soul. But there are times when it comes across as bratty and annoying. Maybe that's the way with little sisters but I wish Lara Jean had told Kitty she was out of line or had a conversation about her behavior. It all works out in the end between them, of course, and I still really enjoyed the book, but it was something that I felt while reading it.

I really liked Stormy, she was such a feisty old broad and she liked that she was. I hope if I am that age and living in a retirement home I still have as much pep in my step as she did.

I tried to find something redeeming about Gen, some reason to not disliker her so very much, but even learning her secret didn't do enough to make me able to like her past her actions. But I guess that's life, like I tell my kids, you wont like everyone you meet and not everyone will like you.

There is a book 3 but there are a couple of other books I need to read first, Darius the Great is Not Ok and Seafire book1, before I read Always and Forever, Lara Jean, which I can do comfortably since this one didn't end in a huge cliffhanger the way To All the Boys I've Loved Before did.

(Finished August 29, 2018)

The Restless Wave: Good Times, Just Causes, Great Fights and Other Appreciations by John McCain and Mark Salter

I bought this the day it was released, not because I am a supporter or fan of McCain, hell if wasn't for his campaign we wouldn't have been subjected to the horror of the Sarah Palin train wreck, but because as much as I didn't like that he gave us her, as much as I don't agree with him on very much of anything, I respect his service, his military career and what he went through, and even his years in Congress. I am proud of how liberal I am, I lean pretty far left, so there isn't much common ground between us, but I don't have to agree with someone to respect them. And I have the utmost respect for Sen. McCain. So I bought his book, because I wanted to learn more about him. But then it sat in my TBR pile. Until Saturday night. When with his death a few hours earlier it felt like time to read it. 

And he is interesting. Some things that stood out to me, and I don't know if I knew this and forgot or hadn't known at all, but he was against the Bush era interrogation policies, called them what they really were, torture, and pushed for it to stop. Something I can agree with him on. It didn't earn him any points with Rumsfeld or Cheney but he said what he needed to, what he believed was right, and didn't put party before country. 

Also, It was interesting to read about his thinking process on the vote he made that stopped the ACA from being repealed, a vote I am so glad he cast. 

Something about him that I picked up from reading this was that he was of kind of Republican I feel is a dying breed (no pun intended), the kind that doesn't believe compromise is a dirty word or horrific act, the kind that knows it is the way to get things done and that the point of Congress is to get things done. 

The section on immigration reform was an area I wasn't sure I knew we shared some agreement until I read it. He isn't for the building of a wall, he doesn't agree with the scapegoating and othering of immigrants, those who came legally or otherwise, and he thinks there is a beauty in the diversity that makes America America. 

So anyway I am sadder than I expected to be over his death, I feel like he was one of the last holdouts against a full Trumpification of the opposition party, and having two (or more) parties who can civilly debate issues and govern together for all of the people in the country is so important. 

Also, I am so troubled by the way his military service and time as a POW and what he was put through is treated with such disdain and disrespect by Trump, it is hard not to feel some level of support for McCain. 

One final thing...I thought the way he stopped that woman at his event who called President Obama an Arab was admirable and the video is getting a lot of play now that he has died, but something was brought to my attention in discussing the event and it changes it somewhat. While it was great that he tried, no one else was, his running mate was encouraging the hateful treatment of then Candidate Obama so it looked like they were talking out of both sides of their mouths. Now I tend to believe he was sincere but he didn't stop her from doing and saying what she was so he would need to own that and I am not sure he ever did. Also, as it was said to me, the opposite of Arab isn't good family man. And maybe he meant to say citizen and good family man as two separate things and just citizen was the counter to the woman says "arab" but to those with Arab heritages it felt like an insult, like you could be one or the other. He would have been better served just focusing on the fact that the birthers were wrong, that Obama was born in the US and left it at that. So while not full points, he did try, sadly he even had to try. And that is the root of what Trump has unleashed and I think over the last year before his death McCain realized that because he spoke out more often. 

Read books about people you don't agree with, it is good to learn about them so you can defend your point of view or disagreement but have some insight into where they are coming from. 

(Finished August 27, 2018)

Firefly Lane: A Novel (Firefly Lane #1) by Kristin Hannah

I read and really liked The Nightingale so when I saw Firefly Lane on the Buy 2 Get 1 Free table at Barnes & Noble I put it on the list of books I wanted when I gave my husband my birthday wish list, and he got it. With as many books in TBR pile it took me awhile to get to this but holy ugly cry did I get to it. I didn't know it was a "book 1" and I don't know that my heart can stand more, I am so wrecked over this one, but at some point I may go ahead and read book 2.

As with many stories this is one about love, family, and loss. But it is more. It is about the love between best friends over decades and making family where there isn't one and staying together even when it is so hard and hurts so much.


I have to say that at times I was so upset and angry with Tully, to the point of not liking the character. But by the last page I found that like Kate, I just couldn't help but to love her even though I had those other feelings too. Katie, I loved her from the very first moment. And Mrs. M, oh how I love her, I hope I am the kind of mother she is. At times I found myself yelling at Kate to grow a backbone, but by the end I realized she was so very strong and that it was her way of loving Tully so fully that it may have looked like weakness but it sure as hell wasn't.

Friendships, love, family, it is all so messy and complicated and Kristin does a masterful job writing a powerful novel that highlights all the ups, and downs, all the good, bad, and ugly.


This was one of those truly heart shredding reads but was so beautifully done.

(Finished August 25, 2018)

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

Words are powerful. They can hurt and heal. They can cause chaos and spark peace. They can save us. 

Tanner's words, words that spill from him because his love and his truth just bubble up inside him and beg for release. And while drowning Sebastian finds in those words a life preserver he can grab onto and which will help him find his way. 

Autoboyography is a love story but it is so much more. It is affirmation that what you are, your worth as a person, it is about your character, your actions and the way you treat those around you. Your worth isn't diminished based on your gender and the gender of the person you love and who loves you back. Family and religion can much that message up and that is explored here. Sebastian is truly a good person. He loves his family. He loves his church and he loves his God. But he also loves Tanner. And it isn't clear to him if he can love his faith and his boyfriend, or even have a boyfriend. Tanner is also a good and kind person. He is more comfortable in his own skin, with being Bi. He loves his family, friends and he loves Sebastian. 

Their story is painful and scary and beautiful even when it gets ugly. 

I felt like the treatment of religion and sexuality were so respectfully handled and that is really huge because this could have easily turned into a Mormon bashing tale but it didn't. It could have been almost any religion and the conflict would have fit the story. But writers tend to write from what they know and I learned from the acknowledgments that Christina worked in a junior high in Utah and met lots of kids (like Sebastian) who said their parents would rather have a dead kid than a gay one while Lauren grew up more like Tanner, in a place and with a family who allowed her the room to be herself without fear or judgement.

Thank you both for your words, I can't wait to get my hands on your new book in a few days time!!!

(Finished August 23, 2018) 

To All the Boys I've Loved Before (To All the Boys I've Loved Before #1) by Jenny Han

Got this because I wanted to watch the movie on Netflix but wanted to read the book first, and I had heard such good things about both. 

Now that I have read it, I am so very tempted to run out and buy book 2 and 3 right now!!! I will hold off until tomorrow but it isn't easy!! I want to spend more time with Lara Jean. I want to know how her heart is. I want to know what happens with Margot and Kitty. And I want to know how the Song girls do with Jamie Fox-Pickle. 

I loved this story, ok well I loved the story telling more than the story, though the story was really good. I loved that Jenny Han writes a beautiful story without feeling the need to sex it up. Many YA books include overly sexualized teens. I think it does teens and young adults a huge disservice when sex is used to move a story forward and it serves no purpose. I don't for a second mean to imply a story with sex in it isn't ok, I just think it isn't always needed and there is a talent to story telling in such a way that it doesn't sink to, ah ok, I have it, I think we all know sex sells, we see it in advertising all the time. And sex has its place in story telling, but it is lazy story telling to use sex rather than have it as part of a well told story. Lara Jean is a good girl and there isn't anything wrong with that. She has feelings and thoughts and explores that but if she were to have sex it would have felt like it was out of character for her. And that is what I am getting out. When an author lays out who a character is and then throws sex into the story because it sells, that is lazy and bad story telling. Ok enough about sex. 

Something I really appreciated about Lara Jean's story is how important her heritage is to her and her sisters and even to her dad. He is white, her mother was Korean. Without her mom there anymore her dad still makes sure the girls stay connected to their Korean side of their heritage and it is lovely to see that embraced. It isn't a huge part of the story, but it is mentioned, the things that sometimes happen or are said to Lara Jean, like at Halloween people assuming what ever she is is an anime/manga character. 

What to all the boys I've loved before is is a story about family, young love, the love and bond between sisters, and the process of learning who you are and what you feel as you grow up. It is a subtle and wonderful told story. I was so pleasantly surprised and how the Netflix movie does it justice. 

(Finished August 21, 2018)

The Lake House by Kate Morton

This is another book from the pile my hubby got me for my birthday.

I don't know what I liked more, the unfolding of the whodunit mystery part of the story or the unfolding of the family secrets and history part of the story so I wont choose. The two together made this an engrossing read, the kind that pulls you in and makes you feel like you are falling into it.

As for the whodunit piece, every damn time I thought I had it untangled there was a reveal that proved me wrong and a new but fully believable twist would happen. I LOVED THAT!!!!

The entire story, both the family tale of love, loss, and secrets kept and revelaed, and the mystery itself center around the vanishing of the Edevane's youngest child, baby Theo in 1933.

What happened? Why? Where is baby Theo and is he even still alive?

Connected to the early 2000's through Sadie, a detective on a forced leave because of a misstep she took at work when she let her feelings get involved in her working a case of a child left alone by her mother and the grandmother insisting her daughter would never leave the child alone. While on leave she goes to Cornwall to visit her grandfather. While there licking her wounds she discovers a long neglected estate and something about it draws her in and the puzzle solving part of her that drove her to detective works is sure there is something about this house to investigate. This brings Sadie into the baby Theo mystery, one she won't let go of until she solves it.

Alice Edevane is in her 80's, best selling mystery writer, and is finishing her 50th novel. She is also Theo's sister and she thinks she knows what happened to her brother and isn't sure she wants it exposed when Sadie first reaches out to her. This brings in the thread that unravels to reveal the history of love, pain, loss, devotion, and secrets that are the legacy of her family. Even this didn't go where I thought it was heading and I was glad it ended up where it did, and to avoid spoilers I won't say more about it.

This was my first Kate Morton read, but I think somewhere in my pile of TBR books is another, The Distant Hours. Either way, I will be seeking out more by her, I really liked her style.

(Finished August 20, 2018)