Each time there is a mass shooting we ask, the new pundits ask, we all want to know how this could have happened. We ask if there were warning signs, if anyone saw the trouble coming, if the person had mental health issues that were addressed or unaddressed, and if the shooter was a minor, as in the case of the school shooting at Columbine, we demand to know how the parents could not have known there was trouble.
Part of why we want to know is because we hope to see some protection for our loved ones and ourselves. Parents want to know how to spot the boogey man before it gets our child. The other reason we ask is because when the shooter is killed in the incident we want to be able to blame someone. And who better than the parents, those who should have known their child wasn't ok.
In 1999 the country was shaken by what happened in Loveland CO at Columbine High School. Well now 17 years later the mother of one of the shooters tells her story. I will admit that I was hesitant to read this. If I did and she answered the questions we all wonder about, and she really didn't know in time to stop this horrific event then there goes one of the scapegoats. And if she did everything right, and by right I mean nothing outside the realm of the normal parenting mistakes we all make in some way or another, then it means we could all be her. But my wanting to know and the fact that she is donating all the proceeds from this book to research and charitable organizations that focus on mental health issues convinced me to read it.
July 3, 2016, finished this book.
This was a incredibly moving and important book. Sue never tries to excuse or downplay what her son did, rather she owns it over and over. Instead what she shares is the struggle between mourning her son's death by suicide and the pain his horrendous act has caused. She shares her anxiety and the fear that her family was in for their safety after she tragedy. She shares the process that is still on going of healing.
But there is something much more important going on here. Along the way as she was trying to figure out how this could have happened, how the boy she thought she knew could do something so unimaginable she learned something about brain health and suicide as well as acts of violence done to others. This is important information. She shares what she learned from the many experts she spoke with on her journey to not only understand her son's actions but to try and learn how this kind of event could be prevented in the future.
She writes about removing the stigma attached to mental health issues, the need to stress the word health, to recognize the rising numbers go young people suffering as public health crisis, and she touches on the difficulty but importance of learning to recognize the subtle signs of problems that can often mimic the "normal" angst and moodiness of the teen years. She stresses the need for mental health first aid in schools and primary health practitioners.
As the mother of a child with a diagnosed mental health condition who has suffered from periods of suicidality this was an important read and powerful read, on that has inspired me to write to the author.
July 3, 2016, finished this book.
This was a incredibly moving and important book. Sue never tries to excuse or downplay what her son did, rather she owns it over and over. Instead what she shares is the struggle between mourning her son's death by suicide and the pain his horrendous act has caused. She shares her anxiety and the fear that her family was in for their safety after she tragedy. She shares the process that is still on going of healing.
But there is something much more important going on here. Along the way as she was trying to figure out how this could have happened, how the boy she thought she knew could do something so unimaginable she learned something about brain health and suicide as well as acts of violence done to others. This is important information. She shares what she learned from the many experts she spoke with on her journey to not only understand her son's actions but to try and learn how this kind of event could be prevented in the future.
She writes about removing the stigma attached to mental health issues, the need to stress the word health, to recognize the rising numbers go young people suffering as public health crisis, and she touches on the difficulty but importance of learning to recognize the subtle signs of problems that can often mimic the "normal" angst and moodiness of the teen years. She stresses the need for mental health first aid in schools and primary health practitioners.
As the mother of a child with a diagnosed mental health condition who has suffered from periods of suicidality this was an important read and powerful read, on that has inspired me to write to the author.
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