Darius the Great Is Not Okay by Adib Khorram

I have a confession to make. I get very attached to and maybe too emotionally invested in fictional characters. And I am ok with that.

I love Darioush (the Iranian form of Darius' name). I wanted to hug him, to bake him some cookies and tell him he can have cookies and salad, life is about balance (an area I need to learn to practice what I preach about), and to tell him he is ok and normal is overrated.

This was such a lovely book. There were lots of geeky references to LoTR and Star Trek. It was moving and sad and happy and important.

So many young people (and not so young) have some level of clinical depression or some other form of mental health diagnosis. There has been for so long, for too long, a stigma attached to it that asking for help has become almost as painful if not more so than the diseases themselves. I feel like Darius' story might help some with that.

I truly believe that ALL OF US, everyone, has at one time or another not felt completely comfortable in our own skin, regardless of our mental health. We have all wondered about where we fit in and look for that place of belonging. Some of us are lucky and find it easily others struggle for a lifetime. Darius The Great Is Not Ok is about that journey and the pain and misunderstandings in our own heads and between us and our peers and family that can come from this misfit, broken feeling.

I truly appreciated the Afterword and Adib sharing his own struggle with depression. And I appreciated his mention of how exhausting and difficult it is for both the person with it and their loved ones and caregivers. As the parent of a child (well not for long, she will be 18 in less than 2 months) with a mental illness I can attest that it is so very exhausting but you keep going anyway, even when you feel like you can't.

Oh and I can't end without saying how much I enjoyed the descriptions of the customs and places Darius encountered when he went to visit his grandparents in Iran. Adib writes so well and in such a conversational and descriptive way that I could see what Darius saw. It was wonderful.

This was just such a moving read and one that will stay with me now forever. You need to read it too. Seriously!! Trust me.

(Finished August 31, 2018)

P.S. I Still Love You (To All the Boys I've Loved Before #2) by Jenny Han

As I said in my review of To All the Boys I've Loved Before  I loved it and couldn't wait to read book 2 but Barnes & Noble was out of it and I had to wait. Well I got it, then had a million things to do yesterday so I didn't get to spend the day with Lara Jean until today. I love her still. Her heart and curiosity and innocence which made her such a great character, they are all traits she still has. But she learns some new and painful lessons here. But she does it with the grace and charm I fell for in book 1.

I had some very mixed feelings about Kitty. At times she is wise beyond her years and it comes across as helpful and like she is growing up too soon, like she is an old soul. But there are times when it comes across as bratty and annoying. Maybe that's the way with little sisters but I wish Lara Jean had told Kitty she was out of line or had a conversation about her behavior. It all works out in the end between them, of course, and I still really enjoyed the book, but it was something that I felt while reading it.

I really liked Stormy, she was such a feisty old broad and she liked that she was. I hope if I am that age and living in a retirement home I still have as much pep in my step as she did.

I tried to find something redeeming about Gen, some reason to not disliker her so very much, but even learning her secret didn't do enough to make me able to like her past her actions. But I guess that's life, like I tell my kids, you wont like everyone you meet and not everyone will like you.

There is a book 3 but there are a couple of other books I need to read first, Darius the Great is Not Ok and Seafire book1, before I read Always and Forever, Lara Jean, which I can do comfortably since this one didn't end in a huge cliffhanger the way To All the Boys I've Loved Before did.

(Finished August 29, 2018)

The Restless Wave: Good Times, Just Causes, Great Fights and Other Appreciations by John McCain and Mark Salter

I bought this the day it was released, not because I am a supporter or fan of McCain, hell if wasn't for his campaign we wouldn't have been subjected to the horror of the Sarah Palin train wreck, but because as much as I didn't like that he gave us her, as much as I don't agree with him on very much of anything, I respect his service, his military career and what he went through, and even his years in Congress. I am proud of how liberal I am, I lean pretty far left, so there isn't much common ground between us, but I don't have to agree with someone to respect them. And I have the utmost respect for Sen. McCain. So I bought his book, because I wanted to learn more about him. But then it sat in my TBR pile. Until Saturday night. When with his death a few hours earlier it felt like time to read it. 

And he is interesting. Some things that stood out to me, and I don't know if I knew this and forgot or hadn't known at all, but he was against the Bush era interrogation policies, called them what they really were, torture, and pushed for it to stop. Something I can agree with him on. It didn't earn him any points with Rumsfeld or Cheney but he said what he needed to, what he believed was right, and didn't put party before country. 

Also, It was interesting to read about his thinking process on the vote he made that stopped the ACA from being repealed, a vote I am so glad he cast. 

Something about him that I picked up from reading this was that he was of kind of Republican I feel is a dying breed (no pun intended), the kind that doesn't believe compromise is a dirty word or horrific act, the kind that knows it is the way to get things done and that the point of Congress is to get things done. 

The section on immigration reform was an area I wasn't sure I knew we shared some agreement until I read it. He isn't for the building of a wall, he doesn't agree with the scapegoating and othering of immigrants, those who came legally or otherwise, and he thinks there is a beauty in the diversity that makes America America. 

So anyway I am sadder than I expected to be over his death, I feel like he was one of the last holdouts against a full Trumpification of the opposition party, and having two (or more) parties who can civilly debate issues and govern together for all of the people in the country is so important. 

Also, I am so troubled by the way his military service and time as a POW and what he was put through is treated with such disdain and disrespect by Trump, it is hard not to feel some level of support for McCain. 

One final thing...I thought the way he stopped that woman at his event who called President Obama an Arab was admirable and the video is getting a lot of play now that he has died, but something was brought to my attention in discussing the event and it changes it somewhat. While it was great that he tried, no one else was, his running mate was encouraging the hateful treatment of then Candidate Obama so it looked like they were talking out of both sides of their mouths. Now I tend to believe he was sincere but he didn't stop her from doing and saying what she was so he would need to own that and I am not sure he ever did. Also, as it was said to me, the opposite of Arab isn't good family man. And maybe he meant to say citizen and good family man as two separate things and just citizen was the counter to the woman says "arab" but to those with Arab heritages it felt like an insult, like you could be one or the other. He would have been better served just focusing on the fact that the birthers were wrong, that Obama was born in the US and left it at that. So while not full points, he did try, sadly he even had to try. And that is the root of what Trump has unleashed and I think over the last year before his death McCain realized that because he spoke out more often. 

Read books about people you don't agree with, it is good to learn about them so you can defend your point of view or disagreement but have some insight into where they are coming from. 

(Finished August 27, 2018)

Firefly Lane: A Novel (Firefly Lane #1) by Kristin Hannah

I read and really liked The Nightingale so when I saw Firefly Lane on the Buy 2 Get 1 Free table at Barnes & Noble I put it on the list of books I wanted when I gave my husband my birthday wish list, and he got it. With as many books in TBR pile it took me awhile to get to this but holy ugly cry did I get to it. I didn't know it was a "book 1" and I don't know that my heart can stand more, I am so wrecked over this one, but at some point I may go ahead and read book 2.

As with many stories this is one about love, family, and loss. But it is more. It is about the love between best friends over decades and making family where there isn't one and staying together even when it is so hard and hurts so much.


I have to say that at times I was so upset and angry with Tully, to the point of not liking the character. But by the last page I found that like Kate, I just couldn't help but to love her even though I had those other feelings too. Katie, I loved her from the very first moment. And Mrs. M, oh how I love her, I hope I am the kind of mother she is. At times I found myself yelling at Kate to grow a backbone, but by the end I realized she was so very strong and that it was her way of loving Tully so fully that it may have looked like weakness but it sure as hell wasn't.

Friendships, love, family, it is all so messy and complicated and Kristin does a masterful job writing a powerful novel that highlights all the ups, and downs, all the good, bad, and ugly.


This was one of those truly heart shredding reads but was so beautifully done.

(Finished August 25, 2018)

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

Words are powerful. They can hurt and heal. They can cause chaos and spark peace. They can save us. 

Tanner's words, words that spill from him because his love and his truth just bubble up inside him and beg for release. And while drowning Sebastian finds in those words a life preserver he can grab onto and which will help him find his way. 

Autoboyography is a love story but it is so much more. It is affirmation that what you are, your worth as a person, it is about your character, your actions and the way you treat those around you. Your worth isn't diminished based on your gender and the gender of the person you love and who loves you back. Family and religion can much that message up and that is explored here. Sebastian is truly a good person. He loves his family. He loves his church and he loves his God. But he also loves Tanner. And it isn't clear to him if he can love his faith and his boyfriend, or even have a boyfriend. Tanner is also a good and kind person. He is more comfortable in his own skin, with being Bi. He loves his family, friends and he loves Sebastian. 

Their story is painful and scary and beautiful even when it gets ugly. 

I felt like the treatment of religion and sexuality were so respectfully handled and that is really huge because this could have easily turned into a Mormon bashing tale but it didn't. It could have been almost any religion and the conflict would have fit the story. But writers tend to write from what they know and I learned from the acknowledgments that Christina worked in a junior high in Utah and met lots of kids (like Sebastian) who said their parents would rather have a dead kid than a gay one while Lauren grew up more like Tanner, in a place and with a family who allowed her the room to be herself without fear or judgement.

Thank you both for your words, I can't wait to get my hands on your new book in a few days time!!!

(Finished August 23, 2018) 

To All the Boys I've Loved Before (To All the Boys I've Loved Before #1) by Jenny Han

Got this because I wanted to watch the movie on Netflix but wanted to read the book first, and I had heard such good things about both. 

Now that I have read it, I am so very tempted to run out and buy book 2 and 3 right now!!! I will hold off until tomorrow but it isn't easy!! I want to spend more time with Lara Jean. I want to know how her heart is. I want to know what happens with Margot and Kitty. And I want to know how the Song girls do with Jamie Fox-Pickle. 

I loved this story, ok well I loved the story telling more than the story, though the story was really good. I loved that Jenny Han writes a beautiful story without feeling the need to sex it up. Many YA books include overly sexualized teens. I think it does teens and young adults a huge disservice when sex is used to move a story forward and it serves no purpose. I don't for a second mean to imply a story with sex in it isn't ok, I just think it isn't always needed and there is a talent to story telling in such a way that it doesn't sink to, ah ok, I have it, I think we all know sex sells, we see it in advertising all the time. And sex has its place in story telling, but it is lazy story telling to use sex rather than have it as part of a well told story. Lara Jean is a good girl and there isn't anything wrong with that. She has feelings and thoughts and explores that but if she were to have sex it would have felt like it was out of character for her. And that is what I am getting out. When an author lays out who a character is and then throws sex into the story because it sells, that is lazy and bad story telling. Ok enough about sex. 

Something I really appreciated about Lara Jean's story is how important her heritage is to her and her sisters and even to her dad. He is white, her mother was Korean. Without her mom there anymore her dad still makes sure the girls stay connected to their Korean side of their heritage and it is lovely to see that embraced. It isn't a huge part of the story, but it is mentioned, the things that sometimes happen or are said to Lara Jean, like at Halloween people assuming what ever she is is an anime/manga character. 

What to all the boys I've loved before is is a story about family, young love, the love and bond between sisters, and the process of learning who you are and what you feel as you grow up. It is a subtle and wonderful told story. I was so pleasantly surprised and how the Netflix movie does it justice. 

(Finished August 21, 2018)

The Lake House by Kate Morton

This is another book from the pile my hubby got me for my birthday.

I don't know what I liked more, the unfolding of the whodunit mystery part of the story or the unfolding of the family secrets and history part of the story so I wont choose. The two together made this an engrossing read, the kind that pulls you in and makes you feel like you are falling into it.

As for the whodunit piece, every damn time I thought I had it untangled there was a reveal that proved me wrong and a new but fully believable twist would happen. I LOVED THAT!!!!

The entire story, both the family tale of love, loss, and secrets kept and revelaed, and the mystery itself center around the vanishing of the Edevane's youngest child, baby Theo in 1933.

What happened? Why? Where is baby Theo and is he even still alive?

Connected to the early 2000's through Sadie, a detective on a forced leave because of a misstep she took at work when she let her feelings get involved in her working a case of a child left alone by her mother and the grandmother insisting her daughter would never leave the child alone. While on leave she goes to Cornwall to visit her grandfather. While there licking her wounds she discovers a long neglected estate and something about it draws her in and the puzzle solving part of her that drove her to detective works is sure there is something about this house to investigate. This brings Sadie into the baby Theo mystery, one she won't let go of until she solves it.

Alice Edevane is in her 80's, best selling mystery writer, and is finishing her 50th novel. She is also Theo's sister and she thinks she knows what happened to her brother and isn't sure she wants it exposed when Sadie first reaches out to her. This brings in the thread that unravels to reveal the history of love, pain, loss, devotion, and secrets that are the legacy of her family. Even this didn't go where I thought it was heading and I was glad it ended up where it did, and to avoid spoilers I won't say more about it.

This was my first Kate Morton read, but I think somewhere in my pile of TBR books is another, The Distant Hours. Either way, I will be seeking out more by her, I really liked her style.

(Finished August 20, 2018)

Hate List by Jennifer Brown

Holy powerful punch to the gut book lovers!! I read this because my son bought it and it sounded like it would be powerful but also because I wanted to make sure it was ok for him and so I could talk to him about it since school shootings are a fear of his. Not debilitating, but he is of the thought that it is only a matter of when not if his school has one, he began to feel this after Parkland and watching nothing happen to protect students from easy access to guns. He is a smart kid and has lots of opinions.

HATE LIST is the Valerie's story. It is the story of the aftermath of a school shooting, yes, and it is a story about the way bullying impacts people. But it is so much more. Val's parents are a mess, even before That Day. Nick is Val's boyfriend. He reads Shakespeare, plays video games with Val and lets her win because everyone needs to be a winner sometimes, he makes her feel safe and accepted, and he loves her. But he is so angry and while she is too Val doesn't realize how much more angry he is and how much deeper it goes. Not until he comes to school and opens fire on the people who have been so awful to them over the years. When Val started the Hate List she thought it was a way to vent, she didn't know or didn't want to know or wasn't able to see, that's what she is trying to figure out now AFTER That Day, what Nick was saying to her wasn't just blowing off steam. 

Val faces her school and peers and teachers and community after That Day and it isn't pretty or easy, for anyone. Forgiveness is not easy, to give or take or ask for or offer even when not asked for.
Parents aren't perfect, family is hard, so is friendship. Sometimes people learn from tragedy sometimes not so much. But life finds a way, or tries to. Like in real life the people in the world Brown created don't all get a happy or clean ending, some are ok, some are almost there and some have a long way to go before they heal, some may never heal. 

This was so well done, so respectfully done, and that is huge because with all the school shootings over the past few years this could have been quite exploitive but instead it is hard and painful and lovely and life affirming and scary and just so damn good!!!

(Finished August 16, 2018)

I Found You: A Novel by Lisa Jewell

This was a quick read but filled with such tightly building tension I had to put it down every so often and take a deep breath. On the cover it says "Readers of Liane Moriarty, Paula Hawkins, and Ruth Ware will love this." I agree, it brought to mind these authors work.

Who is the man sitting on the beach in the rain outside Alice's house? Where is Lily's husband and who is? What happened to the Ross family in 1993? How are all these threads connected? I'm not going to tell you!! But Jewell will, in 342 pages of well spun story telling and the perfect blend of answers and tension.

I gave this 5 stars because while I guessed who "Frank" was I was never quite sure I was right and doubted myself a few times and it didn't ruin anything having guessed, if anything it made it more exciting because every time I was sure I was right something made me doubt a little. And Goodreads doesn't have half stars and I liked this more than 4 stars so rounded up.


This was from my birthday stack of books from the Hubby and it was a good read before I dive into a darker read even though this was kind of dark, just a different kind of dark than my next read, Hate List, which I am borrowing from my son.

(Finished August 16, 2018)

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

I enjoyed my outing with Adam the first time around (History Is All You Left Me) that when my son bought this with (and I think this is pretty cool!) the Barnes & Noble gift card he got at the end of his summer program (they gave each kid $25!! for taking part in a wonderful STEM based summer program) I had to borrow it. And Oh My Oh My!!! WHAT A BOOK!!!!

There was one line that game me the chills, broke my heart, made me happy, shredded me, and filled me with love and hope all at once. 

I cried while out walking my dog this morning as I finished reading and I was so in love with the story and the characters, well not Peck and his crew, but everyone else. 

I came away with the feeling that love and family are where you find them, not always where you are born, that life is to be lived while alive, and that being brave isn't always doing a huge and grand thing, it is just stepping out of the shadow of your fear and living your life, sing Karaoke, dance, kiss the one you love, tell those you love how you feel, those can all be acts of bravery. 

Thank you Adam Silvera for a wonderful story about death that is so very full of life!!!

(Finished August 15, 2018)

Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore

This was recommended to me by one of the cool young women who work at my local Barnes and Noble along with Cashore's Graceling series.

It was a lot of fun to read. It tells the story of Jane and her trying to recover from the grief of losing her beloved Aunt Magnolia by accepting her former tutor Kiran's invite to come back to a gala at Kiran's family home on a private island, Tu Reviens. The invite comes at the exact right time and oddly enough not long before she dies Magnolia made Jane promise she would never turn down a chance to go to Tu Reviens. Once there Jane meets a cast of characters that change her life in some unexpected ways.

Jane's story once she gets to Tu Reviens changes depending on choices she makes, and she makes 5 of them. and each one is told in a different genre. Jane experiences a Heist Mystery, then she is in a Spy Thriller, then she finds herself in a Gothic Horror, and then a Space Opera and finally a Fantasy tale.

Some of the 5 worlds were better than others but all in all this was really enjoyable. I liked how some of the threads carried through all 5 worlds. I love Jasper!!! And Ivy!!! This was a fun and nice palette cleanser in-between some of the heavier, darker reads in my TBR pile.

Thank you bookseller!!!


(Finished August 13, 2018)

White Houses by Amy Bloom

I am not really sure how I feel about this book. I didn't love it but I did. It is at times beautifully written, the love story of two women in a time when it was not ok, not accepted, not looked upon kindly, for two women to be in love and intimate. Add in the fact that one of the women is the First Lady of The United States and it gets that much more complicated. At other times it felt like a too heavy perfume, pretty at first but then clawing and too sweet and sticky, and just really hard to wash off.  

White Houses is a fictionalized telling based on the true story of Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok (Hick to her friends) and decades long love and friendship between the two women. The need for secrecy even when hidden in plain sight, Hick lives in the White House for awhile on two different occasions, takes its toll on their relationship. Bloom's telling of the story assumes that behind the scenes the affairs of FDR under his wife's nose were taking place at the same time as her lesbian encounters including this long term relationship with Hick were happening under his and it was something they lived with. This may our may not be true but it does add to the drama of their love affair and the difficulty in living their fullest, best life. Not only was she married with children, but her husband was President which made Eleanor feel like she couldn't leave and start her life with Hick. And then things, life, happens, and they never quite get it together, never start and live the life they talked so often of "someday" having. 

The heartache felt by Hick after the death of Eleanor is palpable and I hurt for her at the same time as this was one of the sections that starts out beautifully and for me went back and forth between beautiful and just too much, as I described at the start of this posting. 

Overall I liked the book and am glad I finally read it, is has been on my list since it was released. I may feel like it would have been better waiting for it to show up in paperback in the Buy 2 Get 1 Free table but it is what it is. And it is a relatively quick read, so no real regrets. 

(Finished August 11, 2018)

In the Afterlight (The Darkest Minds #3) by Alexandra Bracken

The final book in The Darkest Minds Trilogy. (Book 1, Book 2)

I don't want to spoil anyone so as usual when reviewing books that could be ruined is too much is said, I have a fine line to walk here so for the sake of those who don't want any details I will say there is a lot to this story that is timely and should make you think, this series is not my favorite of this YA sub-genre, the apocalyptic world stories, I really liked it and have no trouble recommending it.


Now for a more detailed but hopefully spoiler free chat.

I was so angry with Alexandra for a character she killed but as I have been finding more and more (Ned Stark anyone?) authors are not shying away from making us love main characters and then killing them, no more neat and perfect endings where all the principals survive to the end. And that is a good thing for readers and a terrible thing. It breaks our hearts so it's bad. But it treats us with respect, it says life isn't ever all neat and pretty and sometimes people die too soon and the people we love die and those who are monsters live, and that is awful but that is good. It makes story telling more relatable and less clean and doesn't insult the intelligence and ability of the reader, even YA readers who are actually YA people (many adults, myself included love YA stories), to be be mature enough to grasp this concept.

There are important questions raised in In the Afterlight and the series as a whole:

• how much change or subduing should be forced on people who are different, who scare people because of something new or different about them
• should age play a part in how much choice a person has, what age should more autonomy over a person's body begin
• who should decide what is normal and what is different or bad
• how much choice is too much or is there even such a thing as too much choice
• how much or little freedom of the press should there be, where is the line, if there is one, between what people need to know and the rest of a story

Something else worth thinking about is how much of a person's bad acts are the result of what was done to them and how much is just the kind of person they are regardless of what has happened. What I mean is are some people just not nice and destined to do bad things even if the bad things done to them hadn't happened or if nothing bad ever happens to them? And if they are and there was a way to change them should they be changed, if so before or after they start to act badly? 

Like I said, there is a lot to think about after reading this and I am sure I barely scratched the surface. 

(Finished August 10, 2018)

Refugee by Alan Gratz

"They only see us when we do something they don’t want us to do."

These are the words of one of the three refugee children, one from Germany, one from Cuba, and one from Syria, whose stories are told in this book.

In 1938 Josef and his family leave Berlin, Germany.

In 1994 Isabel and her family leave Havana, Cuba.

In 2015 Mahmoud and his family leave Aleppo, Syria.


At first their stories seem to be tied together because they are all children that share the commonality of the refugee experience, and they do. As much as the time and their reasons or need to leave home differ some, their struggle is very similar, to stay together, to survive, to land someplace that will be home.

But then there is more, a connection that binds these three children. It was heartbreaking and beautiful.


And the quote I started with, it is Mahmoud who is painfully aware of this, that he is invisible until he or the other Syrian refugees do something that those observing or trying to ignore them don't like, such a pray. What is so vile is that so little seems to have been learned about how to welcome and care for the persecuted since the days of Jews like Josef's family fled Hitler's brutal regime. This turned out to be such a timely read as I feel so helpless watching how my government is treating those coming her seeking protection from violence and persecution.

This book, like Ghost Boys, was recommended by my friend Kelly. Please don't let it being in the "kid's/young reader" section fool you here either. Read this with your kids and talk about how we can help, how we should treat others, who we owe to our fellow human.

(Finished August 3, 2018)

The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See

This is yet another book I discovered on the Buy 2 Get 1 Free table at Barnes & Noble. I placed it on my birthday wish list and my husband got it for me. It took me a bit longer to read than it should have because I had a few busy days that kept me from having as much time as I would have liked to read. But in a way that now seems appropriate, because like the tea meant to be savored and consumed slowly, that is how I consumed the story of Li-Yan and Haley.

This was a few different stories brewed together to make one sweet and bitter experience. (yes I am going to push the tea type connections as far as I can) The story of tea and the Akha people and their culture that stayed untouched my modernity for so long was very interesting. While some of the way of life lived by them may seem wrong or backwards to modern Americans, I think it is important not to compare or hold it up to beliefs that are shaped by a different time, place, and culture.

When Li-Yan falls in love with a young man, Jin, her family tries to tell her is a bad match she doesn't agree and a relationship develops. When she ends up alone (Jin has gone off to try and make some money so he can be allowed to marry her) and pregnant rather than follow tradition her baby is given up for adoption. After a time her parents are proven right about the fitness of Jin as a match are proven true and the course of Li-Yan's life has been altered. The thread of Li-Yan's story focuses on her learning to live outside the old ways she knows and become part of the modern world and grow her knowledge of tea as she starts a life she never imagines having, all while wanting to know what happened to, and maybe even finding her baby girl. The world of tea growing and the tea market in China was fascinating.

Haley grows up in California after being adopted by a wealthy white couple. Her thread of the story was at first an insight into what it feels like to grow up not only in a home where you look nothing like anyone else, but you don't look like anyone in your community as well. The adoptee experience is explored. At the same time tea plays a part in Haley's life too, at first because the only thing she has from her birth mother is a tea cake, and later because she is drawn into studying tea from a scientific perspective. All of this leading her to a young man and a trip to China.

The relationship between mothers and daughters is also a thread running through the story.

All in all this was a warm and satisfying read.

(Finished August 2, 2018)