Dash & Lily's Book of Dares (Dash & Lily, #1) by Rachel Cohn & David Levithan

 This is a reread. I watched the Netflix show/series based on this and was reminded how much I loved the book so felt the need to reread it and grab the 2 follow up books, The Twelve Days of Dash & Lily and Mind the Gap, Dash & Lily. 

I loved the book this time too. It was a quick read and cleansing I guess after some heavy and darker reads. It was a feel good, sweet & innocent story and I love it!! 

Dash & Lily find each other in my hometown of NYC around Christmas time when Lily leaves a red Moleskin with a message and a dare near one of her favorite books at The Strand bookstore. Dash finds the book and chooses to play along. What follows is a learning experience for them both and a sweet falling for each other. 

If you haven't read this but have seen the show here is what I want you to know, while the show is pretty true to the source there are some differences, as usual. But it holds up well. The supporting cast are so awesome on paper & screen. Boomer is as goofy and sweet and just amazing on paper as you would hope. Mrs. Basil E is FABULOUS!! The boots are still important. Langston & Benny are not as present but their story is here. There is more of Lily and her life aside from the book and Dash and I love it, she makes some friends. Her grandpa isn't as hard ass on paper as on screen. Her family is huge and the Santa scene is better on paper!! The muppet is still here. And Boris is the best even if he didn't make the screen. 

This is a brain cleanser and heart warming story!! I hope the next 2 books do right by Dash & Lily!!

(Finished December 29, 2020)

Concrete Rose by Angie Thomas

 I read and LOVED The Hate U Give. It was evident that Anger Thomas was an incredible writer who could spin a tale that was important, needed, well told, and entertaining. I was excited to see what else she would give to the world of readers. She then followed it up with On The Come Up, which while it took place in the same community as The Hate U Give, was its very own story and was also powerful and amazing. Angie clearly wasn't a "one hit wonder."

Coming in January 2021 is the next outing, Concrete Rose. And yes this a Tupac reference too. I got to read it early because as a bookseller our store gets ARCs. 

Short review: I WILL BE TELLING EVERY CUSTOMER I TALK TO ABOUT THIS BOOK!!

Longer review:

This is the story of Star's father, Maverick. He is what some think isn't a real thing, a young Black father who sticks around and is an active, loving, and present father. 

His story isn't easy, gang activity, his father's crimes that have him in prison, mistakes and bad choices, all make him the man we met in The Hate U Give. He is strong and learns that his fears and tears are what make him strong and not the "slinging on the side" and following the path of those who are active in the drug and gang activity. He is mentored by Mr. Wyatt, the man who owns the neighborhood store and gives Mav a job and a love of gardening. 

The most powerful point, a section that stayed with me, was when Mav is told my Mr. Wyatt that "one of the biggest lies ever told is that Black men don't feel emotions. Guess it's easier to not see us as human when you think we're heartless. Fact of the matter is, we feel things. Hurt, pain, sadness, all of it. We got a right to show them feelings as much as anybody else." And this is so important to take in. 

I think that white people who continue to carry on in racist ways, who aren't willing to look within and work on their biases this is something they buy into, that denying the feelings of people makes it easier to dismiss them and disregard their rights, by dehumanizing. I think it is why white officers find it ok to mistreat Black people. To murder them even...because they take away the humanity and don't see people, mothers or fathers, sons or daughters, siblings, when they target people for doing anything while Black. 

But it is not right. And I add this work to my antiracist reading list and will take this to heart as I daily work on being antiracist, on being willing to do the work. This was a powerful work even as it was a gripping and entertaining story. I loved Mav and Lisa. I loved Dre. And Faye and Moe!!! LOVE!!!

I am so excited for this book to be readily available!

(Finished December 27, 2020)

Where Law Ends: Inside the Mueller Investigation by Andrew Weissmann

 As with all audiobook reviews this posting will address two aspects, content & presentation. 

Let's start with presentation. The introduction and epilogue are narrated by the author. The content between that is done by George Newbern. His voice doesn't distract from the seriousness of the material nor does he read in a dry, monotone style. His voice is pleasant and his tone of voice and inflection makes this an easy listen. 

Now the content....

This is one of the worst books ever!! Not because it is badly written but the exact opposite. It is well written and detailed. Where it can't be it is explained why information can't be addressed. It is the infuriating nature of the content that is so bad. It lays open the investigation of Trump, his campaign, and the actions of Russia. And what it found should horrify and anger you. 

If you knew at the time Barr was full of shit when he presented his interpretation of the report this will confirm how right you were. The people who worked on the investigation worked under incredibly challenging circumstances. But they did the most thorough job they could given the road blocks Trump and his sycophants placed in their way. 

It was interesting to get this inside view on the investigation and to hear from someone involved explain what happened and what was really found. 

Weissmann ends with some ideas on how to prevent this kind of interference from happening again. But he concludes that the damage is so great that it will be incredibly difficult and in some cases require law or constitution changes. I don't feel much hope that the damage isn't already done to such a great degree that it won't be fixed for many years if ever. Outside influences have been given an in and it will be beyond difficult to get them out. Proven by the fact that as I write this we are being internally attacked by Russian hackers and have no idea as to the extent of this intrusion and harm done. 

This is worth your time reading or listening to. 

(Finished December 24, 2020)

The Lives of Saints (Grishaverse) by Leigh Bardugo

 My first experience reading Leigh Bardugo was when I read an ARC of Ninth House for the B&N Bookclub (where before COVID I was the bookclub leader in my store). I brought it was me to LeakyCon and was pounced on my a sweet person who was so excited to see me reading it and telling me I HAD TO read the Grishaverse books. So I did, they were so passionate and I needed to know why. 

So I read in this order:

Shadow and Bone

Siege and Storm

Ruin and Rising

Six of Crows

Crooked Kingdom

And then this little gem came onto my store with the signed books we get on Black Friday...I wanted it and waited a little...and gave myself a deadline that if it was still there by a certain day it was meant to be mine...and it was...I read it in pretty much one sitting...I fell asleep last night with about 25 pages to go and finished it today...

Everything about this book is lovely...the cover, the paper quality, the art...and the stories. 

Well ok, some of the stories are creepy, like the demon under the bridge, but the language, the way she writes, it is beautiful. This is the Istorii Sankt’ya (Lives of Saints) referenced in the Shadow and Bone Trilogy. It is a great, quick read that adds to the joy of the Grishaverse. 

I will spend more time with it enjoying the artwork. I hope you get it and enjoy the experience....Oh and this weekend I am picking up my copy of the first book in the next part of the story, the first in the King of Scars duology which just came out in paperback. I am waiting for my gift card my mother-in-law has for me...I get a discount but it is even better when paying with someone else's money LOL. 

FYI, book 2 of King of Scars, Rule of Wolves is set to come out in March 2021. 

(Finished December 22, 2020)

A Deadly Education (The Scholomance #1) by Naomi Novik

I read Uprooted early last year (2019) and really enjoyed it. Given this I ordered this book as a special box from OwlCrate. 

Working retail during the holidays cut down on my time for reading so it took me longer than it should have to read this. But also, my copy of the final book in The Ember In The Ashes series arrived and I should have paused this and went on to that and then come back because I had a hard time pushing through knowing it was there and waiting...

So what did I think of this one? I wanted to love it. I really did. The classist system of this magical school and the world it exists in was fascinating. It really was a commentary on the haves and have nots and the privilege or lack there of that ones position affords a person. 

Something I did notice here, and it took some getting used to, was the difference in how the world building was done. Most first books in a series takes some time to get the reader aquatinted with world, the language, the systems, the monsters, etc. Novil didn't do that here. She jumped right in and we, the readers were meant to catch on. There was no slow down to explain things in the traditional way. 

On the other hand the action was slow in ramping up...it got progressively more frenetic until the big action scene near the end. And then wham!! So that was interesting. And then the cliffhanger...was major...one line that could change everything that came before it. 

El (Galadriel) does change and grow some as the book goes on, but not in a way that changes her nature, just makes her open more and interesting. But it felt real and not like some overly dramatic and instant change...she is who she is, just how she handles the outside world, those around her, changes. 

Overall, this was a good story and given the way it ended I will read book 2 when it is out....If you read her other works which felt more fairytale this one will feel different, very much so. But that isn't a bad thing, it just doesn't have the old fashioned, old world field of her other work. 

(Finished December 20, 2020) 

The Camelot Betrayal (Camelot Rising #2) by Kiersten White

 This is the followup to The Guinevere Deception and the 2nd book in a trilogy. I now begin the very anxious and not altogether patient wait for the conclusion. 

In this outing as in many middle books of trilogies there is an affirmation of lessons learned in book 1 and a set up for the finale. Sometimes this can be sluggish even in a trilogy where the first and third books are amazing. That was not the case this time. Kiersten keep the fantastic ride going. 

After surviving her kidnapping and learning of the betrayal of someone she cared for Guinevere faces new challenges as she tackles being Queen. Some of them are "normal such as the feeding people and preparing a kingdom for the winter. Others however are just so far from "normal" they are downright magical (😉). 

As Guinevere continues to wonder about her missing memories one of them shows up in the flesh. Her friendship with Lancelot is tested. Her marriage and place as Queen presents challenges. There is a festival and an appearance by an enemy. Twists happen when and how you least expect and this is just a great story...I love well done retellings of old stories when done well (like Kiersten's The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein and  Pride by Ibi Zoboi) and this is absolutely well done. 

I don't want to spoil anyone who has yet to start reading so I am being careful and vague. But trust me. This is not your grandmother's King Arthur tale!!

(Finished November 21, 2020)

Light for the World to See: A Thousand Words on Race and Hope by Kwame Alexander

 I sell a lot of Kwame's books at work. This is the first one I have bought for myself, but not the last. I will be getting more, reading them, and then donating them to my teacher friends for their classroom libraries. 

This is a small in size but huge in power book. It is three poems. Three cries for justice. Three responses to the violence inflicted upon Black lives. Three reminders that we aren't living in a post racial society. Three arrows to the heart that land with so much strength. 

Names to say. 

Words to remind. 

BLACK LIVES MATTER. 

I will go back and read this often. 

(Finished November 12, 2020) 

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

 Every time I had to put this down I was so sad. I totally loved this story. The way Victoria writes is so beautiful and draws you in. This story is haunting and gripping. We all want I think, to be seen and remembered. I mean ok we all want to be loved, but more than that is the desire to be seen and remembered, to leave our mark. 

When Addie doesn't want to be forced into marriage, doesn't want to give up herself and her freedom, she makes a mistake...one that has her living...and being forgotten. She sees amazing things, loves art and stories but there is one story that is missing...her own. She has lovers, both men and women but she doesn't have love...how can she when she is literally out of sight out of mind? 

Then she meets Henry....and everything changes...

It isn't just that she spends so much of the time in this book in my hometown, or that there is a cat named Book that make me love this...I was just sucked in and wrapped up in this fairytale and didn't want it to end. I was both lifted up and terribly gutted, which is the best kind of way to leave a story!!

I read and really liked A Dark Shade of Magic, which was my first Schwab book and I am not really sure why I haven't read the rest of the series...but I will...I must. 

But in the meantime, I have no hesitation telling you that you must read Addie's story!!!

(Finished November 12, 2020)

I Have Something to Tell You by Chasten Glezman Buttigieg

 You may recognize Chasten's last name because of his husband, Mayor of South Bend and one time Presidential Candidate Pete Buttigieg (Boot-edge-edge). But Chasten has his own voice and story and this is where he shares it. 

He shares his growing up years in a small very Republican area and the way people thought and talked about gay people and then the hard time he had when he realized he was and began to understand what that meant for him. He doesn't have the easiest go of it. He spent some time living in his car, was in an abusive relationship, and was sexually assaulted. But he also learned to speak German and against all the odds stacked against him he spends a year as an exchange student. He learned he was talented and found his people in the theater. And most importantly (sorry Chasten but this is what I found most important though I guess some would say it was meeting Peter) he learned he could speak to and listen to middle school kids, he could reach them and teach them and he was so good at it. Knowing what it was like to struggle and feel unsafe as he entered his teen years he was able to create a safe space for all his students. 

When he does meet Peter (he calls him Peter and not Pete) and joins him on the campaign trail this part of his story helps him to do something amazing...Besides their relationship being a beacon of hope to young people like my son, that being gay isn't a hinderance to pursuing ones dreams, he was able to really connect with people, people who had pain of all kinds, and really listen to them, and to make them know they were being heard. He brought politics back to being about people and this was one of the most beautiful and loving things he could have possibly done. And if I am reading him correctly it is what he misses about the end of the campaign and what he saw and felt lacking in the discourse of the day. He understands the burden medical bills and weighing making health care choices with choices about which other bills to pay including food. He understands the hardship student debts place on people. He understands that not everyone is safe or has the same freedoms. And he understands that there are things he doesn't yet or may never fully understand but he knows he can listen and empathize and learn and grow. 

And yes his love story with Peter is covered and it is the exact meet-cute you want it to be. 

I feel like I was part of a conversation with someone with a heart and story he wanted to share. 

(Finished October 31, 2020)

Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark

 I recently started paying attention to the issues of Publishers Weekly that we get at the Barnes & Noble where I am so thrilled to be a bookseller. And that is how I became aware of this book. It sounded fascinating and scary and so here I am telling you about it. 

Ring Shout is on the surface a science fiction story, really it is a novella. In its 181 pages is packed so much more. Maryse hunts monsters with a mystical/magical sword. She visits three "women" she calls Aunties in a realm apart from the "real world" she lives in, 1922 Macon, Georgia. This is where we cross from straight forward monster sci-fi into something so much more. Her partners in hunting these monsters, called Ku Kluxes, who look like regular people. But unlike regular humans who are Klan members those with "the sight" can see that some of the Klans aren't, they are "Ku Kluxes" and really are monsters. Like classic monsters, with scary teeth and odd shapes and lots of parts that they shouldn't have....

They are using the people in the Klan for something, and the Butcher is part of it somehow...

There is a message in here about what hate does to us. What happens when we begin to let go of hate. Like I said, there is more than a monster story here. The figurative and literal monsters being part of the KKK seems more timely than ever, though they surely have always been a vile and even force. 

All told this was a well spun and scary tale. There is some gore, but it's a monster hunting story so that is expected. There is a blurb on the back cover that calls this a "cross between Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man and Buffy the Vampire Slayer." and this feels accurate. And doesn't it sound awesome?!?!

(Finished October 20, 2020)

His Dark Materials: Serpentine (His Dark Materials #3.4) by Philip Pullman

This is a very short story with lovely drawings. The story was originally written by Pullman for a charity auction and has now been released in book form with the addition of the illustrations by Tom Duxbury. 

I loved the story. It takes place after Amber Spy Glass but before The Secret Commonwealth. Lyra and Pan go back to Trollesund and resist some of the places they were before the trip north and the incident. It was really nice to get a little update on how Lyra and Pan were doing and it left me wanting more. 

A great quick read. 

(Finished October 16, 2020) 

Surrender Your Sons by Adam Sass

 I love Adam Sass on Twitter and Instagram. So when his book came out I knew I was going to read it. As you know I read a lot of LGBTQ+ books and have become a person who can be a resource to kids and families in my job as a bookseller. 

Adam starts the book with a content warning. I will tell you there is talk about suicide and there is pain for these characters, I mean most of the book takes place at a terrible place that is an island conversion camp run by a preacher. To say more about that might spoilers but as he says in the warning, there is pain but the book isn't about pain, it is about the way these teens come together and do what they do even with the pain. They are resilient and amazing and brave. 

Ok, my review. I had a hard time with this one, but not because of Adam or the story. I had a hard time because my mama-bear heart was so angry and wanted to take all these amazing teens home and care for them and tell them how amazing they are. And I was so angry with Connor's parents for so much of this story. 

These teens are all thrown together when they end up at a conversion camp together. Connor, Marcos, Molly, Darcy, Lacrishia, Vance, Alan, Jack, Christina, Anke, and Drew make up the campers. Miss Manners, Briggs, Karaoke Bill, and some other adults work on the island run by the Reverend from Connor's town. 

What these kids go through, what the manage to do, it is impressive. And scary. There is some mystery running through the story, what happened to Ricky (the man who Connor brought meals to), what is the reverend hiding, and who the heck is really in charge.

Something I was left with is that sometimes people become the monsters others make them into. There is some choice involved too, to continue to be that monster or to be better and do better, to break the cycle of hurt. What is the line though between being hurt and acting out and really transforming into the monster under the bed or in the closet? 

I am not sure but it kind of feels like Adam intends to write more about Connor. 

I think this was a really important story and is well done. 

(Finished October 15, 2020)

  

Punching the Air by Ibi Zoboi, Yusef Salaam

 I first discovered Ibi Zoboi by when I read American Street and loved it. Then I read Pride and I was hooked. 

I first learned who Yusef Salaam was when I was almost 18 and still living in Brooklyn NY. I watched horrified as the media helped the DA railroad these 5 young men for a crime, that while heinous, wasn't committed by them. This wasn't new behavior by the NYPD and it wasn't the last time the system in NYC (and other places) treated young Black men this was way. Having grown up in NYC Public Housing and being among more BIPOC than other white people I was maybe at least a little more aware of the mistreatment. But that is nothing compared to being on the receiving end of it nor do I claim it is. Just giving a frame of reference. I became more aware of the story of these young men, to parts of it that I don'e think I had known in such detail before when I saw the Ken Burns documentary and the Ava DuVernay film about what they went through. 

When this book came into the Barnes & Noble where I work I knew I wanted it. It wasn't easy to not buy it the same day, I had made myself a promise I would finish 2 books from my TBR before I bought anything else. 

Ok, so what did I think? THIS WAS INCREDIBLE!! I love the verse, spoken word poetry, style. The drawings/art on some of the pages added to the punch packed in the words. I was gutted and uplifted and heartbroken and filled with hope by this book. 

It is powerful and beautiful and ugly and amazing. I am telling you, you MUST, MUST, MUST READ THIS!!!! 

Amal is more than anyone gives him credit for. His teacher fails him and FAILS him. She doesn't see him. And this is so true to what too many Black students face. Too many white teachers try to force a truth or force a hiding of truth onto Black students. And when they fail they assume it is the student who has failed. I love that I know so many teachers working hard to break this cycle but it isn't widespread enough. 

You will feel this..every word of it...

I hope Dr. Salaam puts out more of his writing. 

(Finished September 27, 2020)

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

 When I say this book is everything I don't say that lightly. 

It is a spooky mystery. 

It is about being able to be yourself fully and truly. 

It is a YA book with a trans main character written by a transgender author. 

It is a book with a gay main character. 

It is a family drama. 

It is physically a beautiful book, peek under the dust jacket. 

It is a story with a lot of heart. 

It is a story that isn't about white kids. 

But all of that is wouldn't matter if the story sucked. And it doesn't. THIS WAS AN AMAZING STORY!! I loved every moment of it even when it made me cry. 

Set in LA Yads is is a teen who lost his mother not too long ago and lives with his dad and Lita. Their home is in a cemetery where his father is the leader of the brujx. The story timing centers around the days leading up to Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead) and the return of the loved ones who get to come back for a couple of days. Yadriel is looking forward to seeing his mother, the only person who he felt truly saw him, well aside from his BFF and cousin Maritza. His father seems to be trying but still sometimes misgenders him. His Lita tells him he will "always be her little girl." And Yads just wants to be himself and he knows he is a brujo. 

Maritiza knows it too. And tries to help him. And in doing it the mystery takes hold...their cousin has gone missing right after they all felt him die..but no body can be found...and then there is Julian...

And that is all I can say...I want you to experience this story in real time. 

I hope Aiden writes more!

(Finished September 24, 2020)

PS This would have been a single day read if I had been able to read uninterrupted but work and parenting and trying to work on starting (restarting) my Pampered Chef business kept me from it. I LOVED THIS BOOK!!

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

If you have read my previous reviews for Maggie's books The Raven Boys, The Dream Thieves, Blue Lily, Lily Blue, and The Raven King you know it is because of my friend Rachel that I discovered my love for Maggie's writing. 

I don't remember how I stumbled across it but there is a recipe called November Cakes that I somehow landed on the page for and it sounded delicious and I loved the snarky side notes in it, they felt so Maggie. I couldn't think of anyone else I knew who would appreciate it as much as me so I asked Rachel of she would eat them if I made them. She then told me it was from this book, and I had no idea...so of course I needed to read it before attempting to make the cakes. 

AND I AM SO GLAD I DID!!! I loved this story. I love Puck and how amazing and strong she is even when she is scared and lost. Her courage is AMAZING!! I love Sean and how he allows himself to be alive when he meets Puck. I love the imagery of Thisby and I can understand why Puck loves her island home so much. The danger of the water horses and the race made my heart pound more than once. The gentle love that develops between Puck and Sean is not at all gratuitous and feels right. Their love of their horses is what begins to bond them and it is so well written, how they see each other's humanity and heart in how they treat their animals. 

Every November 1 Thisby has its Scorpio Races event. People come from the mainland and watch and bet on the races. People die during it. The capall uisce are mythical sounding creatures that are horses that are brutal and beautiful and come out of the ocean. Every year they are raced. Sean has won 4 times. He needs to win again, once last time, for himself and for his beloved Corr. Puck needs to win her first and only race, on her beloved "pony" Dove so she can save her home and take care of her younger brother as her older brother has withdrawn from them and wants to leave the island. The way Maggie writes this you can see the ocean, smell the salt and blood and picture the horses and their deadly beauty!!

Sean works at the Malvern yard and has made himself the reason for the successes of the place which dissent sit well with Mutt Malvern, a cruel and awful person and the son of the owner. He is quiet and strong and kinder than anyone seems to know, and a bit of a horse whisperer. 

Puck and her brothers are orphans and struggling to survive. And then she and Sean are thrown together. 

I want to go on and on about how beautiful and horrible and amazing Thisby and this story are but I will just say read it!! You won't be sorry. 

(Finished September 14, 2020)

Darius the Great Deserves Better (Darius the Great #2) by Adib Khorram

 I first discovered Adib and Darius in Darius the Great Is Not Ok in 2018 and I fell hard for his writing and for Darius. I have since suggested that book and sold it to so many of the young people I see in the bookstore where I am a bookseller. It is so important to know it is ok not to be ok, to have feelings, and that it is ok if all the feelings aren't good ones. 

Now Darius is back and I love him still so very much. 

Now that Darius is back from Iran he feels like things are falling into place. He has friends on his soccer team, he feels better and his depression isn't smothering him, he even has a boyfriend. 

But then his parents have to work more hours to make up for the cost of the trip and the pressure becomes so much that Darius becomes worried about his dad. He is having feelings he doesn't understand for a boy that isn't his boyfriend, and he isn't loving what should be his dream job. And there is Trent who is just so awful to him. And all of a sudden his best friend Sohrab isn't answering his calls and Darius is worried about him. Maybe things aren't as OK as he thinks they are. 

There are a few threads that run through this story that I think are so very important. A big one is feeling pressured to do more than one is ready to when dating. Many people think it is just a problem for girls in relationships with boys but that isn't the case. The pressure to go further faster than someone is ready for can happen to anyone in any relationship. Agency over ones body isn't dependent on gender or sexual orientation and a person has the right to decide when and how much of a physical relationship is ok for them. 

Also faced, talked about, and dealt with: racism, bullying, standing up when it is hard to do so, depression and the cycles one goes through, love, family, and the importance of talking to those you love and trust. 

This is an amazing book and I hope that Adib writes much more and hopefully some if it will be about Darius. 

(Finished September 3, 2020)

Each of Us a Desert by Mark Oshiro

 I read Mark's first book, Anger Is A Gift back in 2018 and I was hooked and added him to my if he writes it I am there list of authors, it doesn't matter the content, I am all in. 

My son and I went to LeakyCon in October 2019, the 10th Anniversary (I was on staff at the very first one in 2009, and his first con). We got to meet Mark and I was even more hooked. He is warm and welcoming and just amazing. And at the OpenMic event hosted by Wizards In Space (please support them) Mark read from this book and my son made Mark laugh so hard he was crying!! So we are basically life long friends now LOL. 

Just the other day the manager of the Barnes & Noble where I am so honored to be a bookseller came up to me with an ARC that had just arrived. And she handed it to me and said as soon as she read the note with it she knew it was a Wendy Book. I looked down and in my hands was Each of Us a Desert and I literally squealed!! I told her how I had been looking forward to this since October and how I heard him read from it.

So now I have finished it and I am so excited to tell you what I thought. 

This book is a lot!! It is poetry. It is fantasy. It is a mystery. It is a coming of age and finding yourself story. It is really left me feeling like I had been reading Mark's diary. It is beautiful and it is strange and it is full of love and pain and confusion and life and death. 

"I would rather make another terrible decision than live knowing I hadn't tried." I loved this line and it really is a theme that threads itself into the story. 

It took me a little while to get into the grove of the storytelling style Mark was using here. It is a really change from Anger. That isn't a bad thing, not even close. The language is beautiful. If like me you don't speak Spanish don't worry, context makes it pretty clear what is being said and after awhile I found my footing. I did look up some of the words because I really wanted to know the exact translations but it didn't impede my love of the book in anyway. And the language is beautiful. It felt more impactful, had more punch if you will, felt more authentic to the story and no author owes it to anyone to not use languages other than English. 

The story is fascinating. I think it is an allegory. If I am reading too much into it that is all on me and not the fault of the author at all, but I really feel like I am correct. 

The story is told by Xochitl to Solís, a god figure. She is a young girl who has a power she didn't ask for and realizes she doesn't want. She takes people's stories, confessions actually. They are relived of what ever guilt or bad feelings are plaguing them and Xochitl goes out into the desert and regurgitates the stories, giving them to Solís and retaining no memory of the story. Until she doesn't give a story up..she keeps it. And once she has kept it she can't stop taking the stories but because she needs the first one she kept (I won't tell you why, you have to read the book to find out) she can't give those up either. This makes her realize something...people are dumping their stories into her, reliving themselves of the burden but they aren't learning anything or changing bad behaviors. And since she doesn't remember the stories once she gives them to Solís there is no accountability and no need for anyone to change. This is the catalyst that sets her journey in motion. 

The fantasy )or maybe even a little SciFy) piece of this work is: Who is this Solís, why have They destroyed the world and started over, why must people like Xochitl take stories, who is in charge of the mysterious Solado and what happened there, who is leaving poems hidden in the desert...

But the story really feels like it is about trying to figure out who you really are even as the world dumps its expectations of who you should be into your soul, loving who you are even if you aren't 100% sure who that is, and finding your own path and that it is ok to stumble and make mistakes along the way. It feels like a story about it being ok to question authority and belief systems and making your mind up for yourself about what you believe or don't. It's about love and loss and healing. It's about it being OK TO BE YOU!! And for kids of color and queer kids this is so important. 

Thank you Mark for sharing this story with the world!!

(Finished August 27, 2020)

Sal and Gabi Break the Universe (Sal and Gabi #1) by Carlos Hernandez

 I have no shame in my game!! I love a good story and I don't care if it is a picture book, young reader or a middle grade, YA (my favorite area to read from), or adult. A good story is a good story. And as a bookseller with a dream of someday owning my own books store I consider it research for work. 

That being said I am working my way through the collection of Rick Riordan Presents series. I read Aru Shah and the End of Time (Pandava Quartet #1) and I loved it. I have book 2 and haven't got to read it yet but I will. I decided to read the Rick Riordan Presents books in paperback so there will be waiting for releases and when I am done I will be donating them to the classroom library of a middle school teacher friend. Well except for Pandava #2 which I have in hardcover because it was part of a half price deal awhile back. 

The great thing about these books is that each series explores a different culture, has characters that are BIPOC, has girls that are smart and powerful, and has stories where girls can be the heroes. Something I tell people who come into the bookstore I work in when they ask for  children's books that are boy's books or girl's books is that there are no such things, there are just books for children and that girls and children who aren't white have been reading stories for generations that had boys (and most often white boys) as the stars so it won't do any harm for their boys to read stories with girls as the main characters. 

Ok, so all of that and now I am going to tell you about this one...I LOVED IT!! I'm going to share a little more by way of details than I normally do because with this book being written for the middle grade content could be a factor when deciding if it is write for your middle schooler. 

The majority of the characters in this story are Cuban or of Cuban descent. 

Sal is starting a new school in Miami after moving with his father and "American Stepmother" from Connecticut.  His mother died 5 years prior to the time the story takes place. He loves his father and stepmother and why she is called "American Stepmother" is explained and it is loving and kind, you just have to wait for the telling. This story is told from Sal's POV and he gets to things in his own way and time. He is a diabetic and he talks openly about it, having to eat on time, the worries if he doesn't, checking his glucose, and what he can and can't eat as well has being in the hospital. And his mother and her being dead play a huge part of the story. 

Gabi is a student at Sal's new school. An amazing school by the way, one that as a parent I wish was real. She is super smart and quite and old soul. Her family is amazing and it is a beautiful example of building a family based on love and not just blood. You will want to be part of this family!!

Gabi and Sal don't become friends right away but are surprised by how quickly they realize they are really and truly friends, fastest friends ever they say. There is another student that Gabi is friends with and looks out for, Yasmany, and his story isn't explicitly told but it is slowly revealed he is being abused in some way (no details) by his mother. His story has a happy ending at least in this volume of the story, he is taken under the wing of Gabi's huge-built-on-love family (along with Sal and his family). 

Sal talks a lot about the therapy he has had and how he learned some amazing coping skills and we see him using them. There isn't any shame or stigma attached and it is stressed, often by Sal, that feeling feelings is ok. He places great weight on being kind. Sal loves magic and how he learned it and why are part of his coping skills. 

But there is something else about Sal that is quite amazing. He can cut holes into the multiverse and interact with which ever verse he is in. There is some science behind it and is huge part of the story. It is really neat and I think while for adults we may shake our heads and find it a little "unreal" it is fun and enjoyable and middle school kids will really like it (I think so anyway). One of the things that you should be aware of before putting this into the hands of a middle schooler is that one of the things that happens with the super power (for lack of a better way of describing it) is bringing a version of his mother from another universe over to this one.

Anyway, I found this a fun and interesting and touching story. I love Sal and Gabi. I love the adults in their lives. And I will read more about them!!

(Finished August 20, 2020)

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker: A Memoir in Essays by Damon Young

This was the next book in my antiracist reading books. I am not only reading specific books about antiracism and being antiracist, I am including books on Black history and books about and by Black people. My thinking on this is that choosing everyday to be antiracist is more than just reading "how to" books. It is also choosing to support whenever and wherever possible Black owned businesses.  It is also reading books that are both nonfiction and fiction by Black authors on many topics . My thinking here is that if I want to truly learn and be a positive ally I need to hear, really hear, Black voices and not what white people think Black voices and stories sound/look like. 

I have seen Damon on different news programs giving commentary and was intrigued and so bought his book. I am really glad I did. 

Something I won't be doing in this write up is talking about anything this book made me feel with one exception which I hope when you read it you and Damon (and not that he will but if he did read this) don't mind.  

Damon writes with such raw emotion and vulnerability about his life. He also writes with so much humor that there were times I laughed out loud even as I cringed for teenage Damon or college age Damon. He shares his insecurities and mistakes as well as his triumphs. His love for his parents is on every page even when the story he is sharing isn't about them, but when you hold the thread of his stories together you can see the bigger picture. 

Damon is very open about his feelings about white people and the way we have made him, the way we have made Black people for centuries, feel. And yes I am saying we, because even as I, and hopefully you if you too are white and reading this, try to be better each day, to fight for systemic changes, we have benefited in so many ways, the majority of it unearned, in this system as it is setup. And so we are part of the problem. I don't care nor do I want to know if you feel uncomfortable with any of his stories or the feelings he shares...And I don't think Damon does either...

EXCEPT....here is the feels I was telling you I would share....when Damon writes about his daughter...and his desires for her future and the way he felt when she was born and the way he talks to her about what she can do as/when she grows up is the most heartfelt, heartbreaking, loving, life affirming, beautiful....I had all the feels and was so grateful for his sharing the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly, but especially the worry about how in the hell am I supposed to take care of this tiny human being, I don't even know if I can take care of myself...too may new fathers, too many new mothers, feel this but worry they will be judged for it...

The rawness and realness that Damon shares is more than we deserve....I am a firm believer in do the work yourself white people and stop asking the BIPOC you know to do it for you...and so when someone writes a book or a blog, records a podcast or video, writes and article...read it, listen to it, watch it...because they are giving you a gift....This is just such a gift....

(Finished August 17, 2020)

The Fell of Dark by Caleb Roehrig

The first book I read by Caleb was White Rabbit and I was immediately hooked. He earned a spot on my "if they write it I am there for it" list. When his third book (my second by him) Death Prefers Blondes book came out I was so super excited and got it on release day. While waiting for this one I went back to his beginning and read his first book Last Seen Leaving. 

Caleb is also one of my most favorite people on the planet but on Twitter too. 

And now here we are, his 4th book and I have been so damn excited for this. 

It's a gay vampire magical environmental warning story....Sound like a head scratcher? I promise it isn't. It is fun and campy and scary and gory and gay and fangtastic. 

Auggie is 16 and never been kissed or on a date and he lives in a town a little like Sunnydale but with less Xander and more Spike and less secrets, sort of. Vampires are a known population in this town outside Chicago. But there are still lots of secrets going around...

Just as Auggie goes on his first date with the hot barista from his favorite cafe he finds out no one is who he thinks they are. And his life is in danger...he is the subject of a prophecy about this Corrupter who is supposed to be the one who ends the sting of the sun on the undead...but if he rises Auggie dies...

I absolutely adore the snarky way Caleb write. I love Vampire stories. I loved this story. And it works that there is an environmental message in all the fangs and magic. It doesn't sound like it should but it does...because even vampires know, hell they especially know, given the undead nature of being a vampire and the very long "lives" they "live", that we mortals are killing the only planet we have...I know, you are thinking what?!? But hey it isn't over the top and it works here...Trust me....

Vampires and Witches and Rasputin oh my!!! Read this book!!!

(Finished August 10, 2020)

A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi

Because of a 2 for 1 credit sale on Audible I got this book. It was one on my radar for quite sometime but I hadn't purchased in hard copy. I used to listen to audiobooks more often when I was commuting an hour and 20 each way to school. More recently it has been my husband who has made use of our audible account at least until COVID19 meant he was working from home and not driving in. And for someone who doesn't read much but loves stories this is great. Occasionally I will listen now on my walks or longer car rides when I am alone. This was one. 

I am so glad I did. The story is incredible. With audiobooks the voice reading to you is as important as the words they are reading so along with my thoughts on the story I will also talk about the audiobook specifics. 

Priya Ayyar did a wonderful job. It didn't come across as overly acted, but she added so much emotional and life to the words that you could feel them. That is something that can be missing from audiobooks, they can be dry and un-engaging.  When I read a hard copy of a book I often "hear" the voices while reading and the emotions of the characters, there is in essence a little narrator in my head. A dry or detached audiobook reader ruins the experience and can ruin a great story. Priya doesn't do that. She makes the story come alive, to make the listener/reader feel connected to the work even without the pages in hand. It leaves the listener free to absorb and enjoy the words, the story, the content. 

While a bad reader for an audiobook can ruin a great story there is nothing that can be done to save a bad story...this is not a bad story. I loved this book. It broke my heart. It made me angry. It made me laugh and cry. 

Set in the year after 9/11 we meet our main character, Muslim teen Shirin. Her family has moved a lot because of her father's work and the troubles with being the new kid so often are made harder now. She has built walls around herself that are Fort Knox level. She is tired of being stereotyped, tired of the rude stares and comments, tired of the horrible way people treat her, the way it is assumed she is some terrorist or terrorist sympathizer, assumed that she isn't American, can't be from "here." 

But then along comes Ocean. And her world is rocked and her heart begins to thaw. And what follows isn't a pretty neat typical teen romance novel. I mean there is some of that...two teens falling for each other face something that separates them and may end up keeping them apart unless they can overcome...but the what, the how, the details here are more raw and real...more relevant to the times we are living in. 

When the world tells you you aren't worthy it is so hard to believe you are even when someone comes along and says you are and tries to show you. 

Shirin talks about "the perfect ridiculousness of hight school." And that is so true. She is treated horribly, I mean really awfully, and not just by peers but by adults too. She finds a safe space and some joy in a Breakdancing club her brother and some others start. And this leads to something that changes how she is viewed and she is as shook by that as she was the way she was treated before...And the hypocrisy and ridiculous nature of it isn't lost on her...but it also allows for the chance to look within and learn about herself too. 

Tahereh does something I like a lot even as I find it frustrates the part of me that longs for the neat and wrapped up happy ending, she leaves room for more, either by her or by us the readers, there is room to imagine the next steps, to talk about them with each other...to understand that in life we don't always get the know or see the "what next" and since this is a YA book it is important to get the target readership comfortable with the uncomfortable, the unknown, the wait and see. 

I truly enjoyed and was moved by, left touched by my time in Shirin's world and I think you will be too. 

(Finished August 6, 2020)

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

I am not perfect. Not even close. I make mistakes. I don't always know when I have made mistakes. Specific to my biases, most I'm not even aware I have (implicit) and am acting on....when I have them pointed out to me, I am at a point in my life that I see it is a gift someone is giving me when they take the time to tell me something I have said or done has caused harm, was racist, hurt them. They have given me the gift of not walking away even though they are hurt, or allowing me to grow and learn and then take that lesson to so better and be better. It is a gift.  I learned there is no shame in owning a mistake, making amends, and then learn and never make the same mistake again. The shame is in not growing, in not changing, in denying or playing the victim, in so many things, but not in saying your sorry and doing your best to do better going forward. 

But talking about race is hard. It is easy to make mistakes, it is easy to say the wrong thing and the fear of those makes it hard to talk about. If you are not knew to this, learning to walk the walk AND talk the talk on the path to being Antiracist (one that by the way never ends and is a commitment needing renewing every day) then you have probably learned the lesson about not asking BIPOC to be your own personal Google...And that is so important. It is exhausting surviving in the white supremacist world forced upon them, they don't need to so the work for us, the work of learning the real history of the oppression and subjugation and abuse this country was built upon and the harm still being done 400+ years later. But when someone takes the time to offer to talk to you, to answer your questions, to hold a talk, to write an article or a book, take the opportunity and listen, attend, be present, read. 

And then if you are white you must share. Share what you learn with others. Do the work instead of asking BIPOC to do it. Be willing to acknowledge your unearned privilege and then be willing to use it to protect BIPOC, bear witness, be willing to part with the privilege by giving it away in defense of those who shouldn't need but do need it. 

This is one of those books you must read. While trying to figure out what to share with you I realized, much like while reading, I wanted to share it all. So instead I will tell you that Ijeoma writes in a way that will make you drop your guard and take in what she is giving to her readers. It isn't always comfortable, hell is if more often than not quite uncomfortable to look inside oneself and see the ugly parts we try to pretend don't exist. But imagine discomfort of living in a world where you are told and shown and told and shown for centuries that your bones aren't worth the skin they are housed in, that your mind is somehow less, how you are less, less than someone because they have white or light skin, less than someone so not worthy...so swallow your pride, sit with the uncomfortable feelings, ask yourself why your are unsettled by the thought that you are responsible for stepping up and speaking out...

Please read this book. 

(Finished August 5, 2020)

***implicit bias refers to the attitudes or stereotypes that affect our understanding, actions, and decisions in an unconscious manner.

explicit bias refers to the attitudes and beliefs we have about a person or group on a conscious level.*** 

The Name of the Wind (The Kingkiller Chronicle #1) by Patrick Rothfuss

I admit this book took me way longer to read than is typical for me and longer than I wanted it to. Ever since the pandemic started I have gone through phases where I couldn't focus or was pulled away by things. Some of that played a part here. 

Why it took me so long: 

• I started selling Pampered Chef again and spent time running my first party and building my library of scheduled posts. 
• I got sucked into doing a re-watch of Once Upon A Time 
• And then a re-watch of Star Trek Discovery BECAUSE SEASON 3 IS COMING IN OCTOBER!!
• This book is close to 700 pages long and it took me a little while to get into and to figure out how to carry it comfortably while walking Charlie. 
• I found out I am going back to work soon (next week actually) and I have been a little distracted. 
• This book is almost 700 DAMN PAGES LONG....

Ok so now the book. The first in the Kingkiller Chronicle series which I was told by my friend at work Mike that I needed to read, that it is kind of like a grownup Harry Potter. So I grabbed it and figured why not..I had been putting it off and I was having a hard time deciding on what to read next from my cart of books...

The story's many character, Kvothe, has a name that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue...there is actually a video HERE that has Rothfuss doing pronunciations...but it still isn't a 100% clear...I have been saying K-VO-TH (a hard K sound and a long O sound). 

I did enjoy this story. A lot. I liked the format of story telling, he is telling his story to The Chronicler and occasionally we are pulled back from the story unfolding in the past and into the present where Bast, Kvothe (Kote), and Bast are together in the inn. Kvothe is super smart, smarter than most of the people he meets and he knows it and sometimes he is so very arrogant. But he faces a terrible tragedy at a young age and it sort of stunts him and sends him on a new path than the one he was on and his arrogance is kind of understandable. He isn't unlikeable, at least in this book, I don't know what he is like in the next installment. 

Magic in this world is more science based and there is a lot of talk about how elements work together and what is involved into "magic." While this is a world building book it doesn't take the slow path in doing so because he is telling his story to Chronicler and thus to us he is building as he goes and it isn't built before the story gets started. It really is part of the story itself. 

There are times when you are reminded that Kvothe is young and inexperienced about many things, like relationships/intimacy and this helps keep him from becoming unlikable. Also his treatment of Auri reminds us that arrogance aside he is deep down a good person. 

Something happened to Kvothe's family and their traveling theater troop..he ends up on his own, and has to survive for a family long period of time on his own before he makes his way to the university. And if you think making it there will means his life becomes easier then you haven't read enough high fantasy or hero's journey stories...it gets better, gets worse, gets better, gets worse...often he snatches defeat from the jaws of a win....There is a mystery he is out to solve, what the hell happened the night his family died...and there is the mystery for us, what happened to him to get him to where he is, living in an inn using a new name...

It is a tightly written but long story...I will go on to book 2 at some point...I am not sure when but before too long, I don't have it yet and book 3 wasn't published yet and I have so many books TBR and so many series going so while I absolutely want to read the rest I am not in a huge hurry...

I will say that it took me awhile before I was sucked in but I did get sucked in and overall I really did like this book!!

(Finished August 2, 2020)

Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man by Mary L. Trump

I don't even know where to being with this post. This was the most scathing take down of a person told in the most detached and clinical way possible for someone who is part of the family she is writing about.

Mary is the daughter of the oldest Trump son, brother of Donald (from here on referred to as Toddler-In-Chief). When she writes about her father's life she mostly refers to him as "Freddy" and her mother as "Linda." Occasionally she refers her father/dad but mostly when she is interacting with him. He is where my heart ended up being by the time I was done with this slim, 211 page, but HUGE book.

Too Much and Never Enough doesn't try to excuse away Toddler-In-Chief's actions or let him off the hook. What she does is give a picture of how he ended up like this. There is a lot of blame for how we got here. His parents, the media, banks, congress, and the many hangers on.

Fred Trump was a monster of a man. He pitted his children against each other for love that didn't exist. He taught them early on that his way was the only way and it was a lesson all except Freddy learned early on. He, as the older son, was expected to take over the Trump business but his heart wasn't in it. He wanted to fly and he tried. For a short time Freddy was able to be a pilot and he was good at it and he loved it. But Fred  wasn't having it and the rest of Freddy's short life was spent in paying for the transgression. Toddler-In-Chief learned early on that his father valued selfishness and cruelty and he learned the lessons well.

When Toddler-In-Chief was an adult (in age anyway) Fred was invested in helping keep up the image being built as were the banks invested in him. But as time went on his failures were becoming bigger and the bigger Toddler-In-Chief's failures the more he spun it as wins, and the more people who encouraged/allowed this.

And then here we are today. With Toddler-In-Chief doing major damage to our country, literally and figuratively, destroying our relationships with our allies, courting authoritarian leaders, and getting people killed. The conclusions Mary comes to won't surprise you. But the back story of how this family ate its young and was made into the vehicle to support the delusions of Toddler-In-Chief.

I would suggest you read this. It won't improve your feelings about Toddler-In-Chief. The only comfort you will take from this is that you will feel the stain of the attempted gaslighting removed and your clear headed sanity return. The prologue alone is scathing and removes the fog FoxNews would like to cast over the American people's brains.
Samples:

(Finished July 16, 2020)

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Continuing my efforts to educate myself and to help me be a better ally, to not just say I'm not racist but to truly be antiracist.

It isn't an easy to look within and acknowledge biases and work on changing them. But it is a worthy endeavor and one I will have to, we all have to, work on each and every day.

One of the ways I have been working on this is reading books, watching movies and documentaries, reading articles, and taking advantage of the opportunity to attend (virtually these days) seminars and lectures.

Ibram X. Kendi writes this book from a personal point of view, sharing his own missteps and growth as he teaches his reader history, terminology, the value in being willing to have your mind changed, and learning from mistakes.

The focus of How To Be An Antiracist is on the role policy plays in racism. There is an exploration of the intersection between race and other identifiers, gender, sexuality, class, and how hard it is to pull them apart, my interpretation being that we can't and shouldn't be. There were times I had to reread a passage a couple of times to really take in and digest the meaning. I say this not to say that the book is a difficult or unapproachable read, it isn't either of those things, but because it is so rich and full of big ideas and a lot of information that slowing down and really soaking it in is called for. After laying out his case for what being antiracist means Kendi offers ideas on how to bring about change, a cure if you will.


I think a huge take away for me upon finishing this book is how much I had learned so far and how much I still needed to learn.


(Finished July 11, 2020)

My Antiracist Reading List So Far:
Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You
White Fragility
Woke: A Young Poet's Call to Justice

Woke: A Young Poet's Call to Justice by Mahogany L. Browne, Elizabeth Acevedo, Olivia Gatwood

I got this book because I was getting books for a friend's 6th Grade Classroom library at her request. I say at her request because she deserves the credit for putting this AMAZING on my radar.


Woke: A Young Poet's Call to Justice may look like a kids picture book and the art is amazing and will hold younger children's attention if you read it to them. But the ideas and message will speak to older students and adults. So I would call this an all ages book even though the publisher lists the ages as 8-12 (3rd-7th grade).

The poems each cover a theme:

Activism

Ableism

Ally

Body Positivity

Community

Empathy

Equality

Forgiveness

Freedom Fighters

Gender

Immigration

Intersectionality

Individuality

Joy

Justice

Prejudice

Privilege

Protest

Resistance

Resourcefulness

Silencing

Stereotyping

Volunteering

Woke

And that is the overarching theme, inspiring the reader, targeting young people, to stay woke and become activists. 

This will get a lot of rereads and quoting. I love it. 

(Finished July 8, 2020)

Real Queer America: LGBT Stories from Red States by Samantha Allen

Real Queer America: LGBT Stories from Red States was my Pride-2020 read #8

Samantha is an author & journalist. She likes waffles shaped like Texas. She appreciates a good double rainbow. And she is a transgender woman. And this book is her love letter to the LGBTQ+ communities living and thriving in Red States.

On a road trip with her friend Billy Samantha revisits some places she spent time in before this trip and visits others. She is in Texas the night that SB 3 passes. She is on her way to her next destination the morning trump tweets about his ban on Transgender people in the armed forces. She revisits her Mormon upbringing in Utah and Bloomington where she met her wife.

With humor and honesty and love Samantha reminds us that there are vibrant LGBTQ+ communities in places between the East & West Coasts and we get to see these place and meet some amazing and beautiful people.

(Finished July 1, 2020)

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender

Felix Ever After is my Pride-2020 read #7

I have also read Queen of the Conquered and This Is Kind of An Epic Love Story by Kacen,

And I got to meet Kacen at LeakyCon in October of 2019 and was charmed and will forever adore them. When I heard this book was coming out I knew I would need to read it. When I saw the cover I was immediately in love with the art and the idea of Felix.

 
We say we can empathize with people. And sometimes we can. But more often what we mean is that we want to and we think we can. But we can't because we can never really understand what it is like for a person or a group of people we will never share experiences with and without that, without at least the possibility of the shared experience we can't truly empathize with someone. We can care and feel for them, but we can't fully grasp the moments.

This is why own voices stories are so important. Own voices stories give voice to characters and experiences that are told from a place of true understanding and empathy. This gives groups of folx not often given center stage in books their much deserved time to shine. It reaches people who never get to see their lives reflected and truly told to feel fully connected to the written story. And as an added bonus, because we the other readers aren't the important part of the equation, it gives those of us who want to be better supporters a chance to listen to these voices, these amazing stories. We still can't fully know but we can deepen our compassion and add to our vocabulary and knowledge.

More importantly for readers who share this voice, it is an opportunity to finally see yourself and/or your experiences in the books you read. For example young queer kids now have access to story books where the Prince falls in love with the Knight and the Princess falls in love with the Maiden or a little boy can be a mermaid.

But for now let's talk about Felix. Felix is an art student in NYC and he lives with is dad in Harlem. His mother isn't in the picture and I won't say more about that, it is for Felix to tell you about. Felix's best friend is Ezra. His dad is trying to come to terms with or understand Felix's transgender identity and so is Felix. A supporting cast of characters push Felix to really look at himself and it isn't always easy or comfortable. He wants what most of us want, to be loved, to be happy, to feel fulfilled. But he is plagued with doubt, wondering if he is worthy of love and if he can ever find his way, his place.

Someone hangs pictures in the school lobby that Felix never wanted anyone to see. It made the search for self Felix was on that much more complicated. But it also helped Felix learn who he loves and trusts and can rely on. It helped set Felix on a journey to find himself and his art.


Felix Ever After is an amazing and powerful story of coming to terms with who you are and how you feel and not the way the world tells you to be or feel or act. It is a coming of age story and a love letter to queer teens trying to find the answers. Kacen writes with love and compassion and honesty. You can feel Felix's heartbeat in the pages of this book!! And you can feel the wonder that is Kacen and it feels like a privilege to spend time here.

I want to tell you so much more but I want you to take the journey with Felix yourself and not give away too much.

(Finished June 28, 2020)

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Red, White & Royal Blue was my Pride-2020 read #6.

At work I was intrigued by this one from the moment it showed up in the store. With just the blurb inside the dust jacket to go on I was able to sell many copies of this. I put it in the hands of people wanting a great romance, people wanting specifically a m/m romance, and people wanting an LGBTQ romance without preference to the gender. All he feedback I got after was how much they loved it. Every. One. I. Sold. No one ever came back and said they didn't like it. Yet my TBR was so out (is so) out of control and I don't often want to read romance novels, I mean I don't mind romance in my stories, but I don't often seek out a romance novel. But when I wanted to cancel my BOTM and I saw this was available I used one of my remaining credits for it, I figured it would go well with my annual Pride Read-athon.


I LOVED THIS STORY!! I feel really hard for Alex and Henry. I loved their use of historical letters. I loved how much they each had these broken places the other could soothe but didn't try to own or "fix". It was a healthy understanding of loving a person as they really are and not trying to make them into you or what you want them to be, I loved Alex's sister and their best friend Nora and I loved Henry's sister Bea.

Red, White & Royal Blue is part political caper, part family drama, part buddy story, and all romance. I laughed, I cried, I fell in love. And you will too!!!

I was thinking before reading it that I was kind of surprised it wasn't a YA Romance, but after reading it I wanted to let you know why incase age appropriate content is something you have concerns over. There aren't graphic sex scenes but they bump right up to that edge which for younger teens might not be where they are maturity wise. So keep that in mind if you are getting this or sharing it with a young person. I would say 16+ maybe....



(Finished June 25, 2020)

Out Now: Queer We Go Again! by Multiple Authors

Out Now: Queer We Go Again! was my Pride-2020 read #5

I was so excited when this was announced for publication. I am so glad it coincided with my annual Pride Read. And I was so excited to see some of my favorite authors (I'll read anything they write) had contributed stories, Caleb Roehrig, Mark Oshiro, and Julian Winters.

This book is a collection of short stories and I loved the experience. These stories are about a piece of the journey a young person is on to be true to themselves, learn who they are, find a safe place, find love, have adventure, and even the undead and aliens. There really is something for everyone and you should get this book into the hands of all the Queer teens you know and all the adults who love them and want to support them. And of course anyone who loves a good story.

A little about the collection, I am not going to review all 17 stories individually, but I will say that while I liked some better than others there wasn't a single one I didn't like, but I do want to share a few highlights.

Of course it will come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention that Caleb's story starts with the word VAMPIRE. What Happens in the Closet is a crazy bloody fun vampire romp but it also a coming out story, unlike any you've ever read before.

 Mark and Julian didn't disappoint either and their entries confirmed their place as "if they write it I am there for it" authors.

Mark writes a painfully beautiful story about two young men trying to find love and struggling with body image. I appreciate this story so much, it needs to be known that it isn't a "girl thing" to struggle with feeling good in your body or comfortable with your size and shape, it is a human thing and it happens to boys too.

Julian's story was wonderful too. He writes about Luke Stone and his desire to ask a boy to the winter formal. The backdrop of struggle is his desire to be a good son to the dad he loves so much and is so grateful for. But he doesn't know how to or who to ask and worries about what his dad will think about him being gay. It is the kind of loving and compassionate story Julian's readers have come to expect from him and he hasn't let us down.


But I really want to tell you about two stories that stole my heart and introduced me to authors I hadn't read before. And has added two new people to my above mentioned list.

First there is Seditious Teapots by Katherine Locke. I loved the whole idea of the teapots and the wordplay. But this story is so much more. It is the most honest writing about the pain of trying to find out who you are for yourself regardless of what the world says you are.

Then there was Star-Crossed in DC by Jessica Verdi. This one had be begging to know what happened to Savannah after she makes her decision to take a stand. Literally since I tweeted my please to Jessica!! The story is on the surface, as the title implies, about star-crossed love interests. Savannah is the child of the current president and Emily is the daughter of the rival for the office. But it is so much more. It is a story about finding your voice and the strength to use it even when it is so very difficult and scary.


I really enjoyed the time I spent in this book and I think you will too.

(Finished June 21, 2020)

These Witches Don't Burn (These Witches Don't Burn #1) by Isabel Sterling

These Witches Don't Burn was my Pride-2020 read #4

Rant then review: I was so mad when Book of the Month dropped their YA club. They still have some YA but to use credits on other books you have to get one of the selected titles too and there wasn't any YA or titles I wanted among them. I had been hanging on just until there was something I wanted so I could use my last 3 credits and cancel. Finally there was one, The Vanishing Half, and so I grabbed it, this one and What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker and I am done with BOTM! Of course I told them exactly why I was cancelling. I mean really, they are our credits, they have our money for them, we should be able to skip the titles and still grab something from their collection.

Ok my review:

When I picked this I didn't realize it was the start of a series, I just grabbed it because it sounded like a good story and it would be perfect for my annual June Pride reading.
These Witches Don't Burn has witches, romance (f/f), and mystery, a perfect combo right?
Hannah is our main character, a witch living in modern day Salem. There are rules for witches that allows them to safely live among Regs. Regs are non magical folx, think Muggles, which is where my mind went and the reference is made late in the story. Hannah has a Reg best friend, Gemma, a stalkerish ex, Veronica (also a witch), and a new crush, Morgan. She works in a Wicca shop run by Lauren who I hope gets some page time in book 2 and there is a new employee, Cal.

There is an interesting conversation to be had about relationships and when they get unhealthy and one needs to set some boundaries. I appreciated that part even though it made me so angry at Veronica. Hannah and Veronica have been friends since birth practically and then date and break up. I don't know if the mending of their friendship will play a role in book 2 but I hope so because I think navigating break ups, setting healthy boundaries in all relationships, and moving on and when possible forgiving and rebuilding relationships are important life skills we all need but especially the YAs in YA.

I enjoyed the story. The who done it wasn't one I figured out until just seconds before the reveal. And I had a jaw dropping gasp reaction. Someone is hunting Hannah and Victoria, is it a Blood Witch? Is it some stupid, angry school mate? Is it something else entirely? There are moments of fun and joy, there is some really deep pain and hurt, betrayal, and fear. The tension starts slow and then amps up until BAM all hell breaks loose.

Now I am annoyed because I have yet another series I like and need to wait for the next part of. But I guess that's a good problem to have.

(Finished June 16, 2020)

Odd One Out by Nic Stone

I have so many feels about this book.

I first discovered Nic Stone when I read Dear Martin. And it was so powerful and I love Nic's writing.

I admit I have had this one for awhile but I can say that about way too many books because I can't help myself and keep adding to my TBR and the struggle is real on what to pick next each time I finish a book.

But I finally jumped in. Odd One Out was my Pride-2020 read #3.

The story of Cooper, Jupiter, and Rae is told in three sections, each from the perspective of one of the teens.
Jupiter and Cooper have been best friends since the day Copper moved in next door to Jupiter when he was 7. She lives with her dads and he with his mom. Cooper's dad died just before he moved in.
The two families have melded together and created one family and it is really clear how much they all love each other.
Cooper identifies as a straight male.
Jupiter identifies as lesbian.

Rae is the new girl, her dad works at the same hospital as Coop's mom and this connection brings her and her dad into the family group. She is a people pleaser and outwardly always seems so happy. She joins the Coop-Jupe friendship and they three really become a trio.

Two minor characters, minor only in their role as secondary and not because they are small and insignificant are Britain and Golly, Coops teammates and best male friends.

At the start of the story we learn Coop is secretly in love with Jupe. Well secretly to everyone outside Coop, Britain, and Golly. They are trying to help Coop move on since they all know she won't ever be his girlfriend.

Things get messy when Jupiter and Coop begin to be attracted to Rae and Rae begins to have feels for Coop and Jupe. This confuses her because up until this she identified as heterosexual.

So now why all my feels?
I don't want to spoil you so I am going to be vague.
Life is messy, that is a given. And when you are trying to figure out your label or if you even want one it can be so much more complicated. When you think you fit in one box and then find out you actually don't fit in a binary box, as a teen you have built your entire reputation and idea of self around that label, realizing it isn't so simple can be really painful. And as we all know when we are hurting and confused we may not always make the best choices. And those choices can hurt both us and others. What we do when that happens is what reflects on our character and not the mistake itself.
What I think (and this is my take, Nic may have had something else in mind, and you may takeaway something else) is, my main takeaway, is love and growing up is hard, damn hard, and it is ok to learn and grow and change you ideas of who you are, your love is yours to give and no one can tell you who to love when. Own your label, or choose not to have one, do what makes you feel safe and complete. And don't worry if that grows and shifts.

(Finished June 14, 2020)

The Stonewall Reader by New York Public Library

The Stonewall Reader is comprised of essays, excerpts from books and articles, and a blurb about each writer. All of the writers have a connection to The Stonewall Riot and/or LQBTQ liberation and freedom fight.

There are three section, Before Stonewall, During Stonewall, and After Stonewall. The history/herstory/theirstory is amazing and fascinating. The language isn't always "polite" or perfect but it is visceral and powerful.

The section on During Stonewall is really interesting. Each person's perspective gives a different view of what happened that weekend in June 1969. There are many details that are in all the tellings but there are some that have details not in any of the others and there are some that have details that contradict other versions of events. But they all ring authentic because they all are told from what ever corner of the events the teller was experiencing it from.

There really isn't a single thing I can find to complain about other than I would have liked lots and lots more. I learned so much and that is why I picked it for my Pride 2020 reading. I wanted to learn more about the movement for equality for all members of the LGBTQ+ community so I can better myself as an ally.

The similarities, overlaps, and sometimes tension between the Civil Rights Movement, the push for equality for Women, and the LGBTQ Rights movements becomes clear. Sometimes there's partnership other times there's animosity. And sadly a lot of it reads like it could be from this moment in time.

(Finished June 9, 2020)

The Black Flamingo by Dean Atta

PRIDE 2020 Book 1


There are so many good things I can say about this book!!

Let's start with the outside before we dive in. The cover art is beautiful!!!! And when you take the dust jacket off...it isn't plain. And the design is perfection.

The Black Flamingo is a book that will immediately drill a hole in your heart, burrow in and then begin to heal you and will forever be with you.

I don't pretend to know if this story is autobiographical but it feels like Dean Atta poured his heart and soul into this book written in poetry form about Michael. Michael is a little boy when we first join him. He lives in London with his mother who is white and Greek Cypriot. His father is a black man of Jamaican decent. He never tells us why his father isn't really a part of his life but his father's side of the family is very much in his life. His Uncle B loves and cares for him and he spends time with his paternal relatives.

As this deeply moving series of poems weaves into a journey Michael takes us along with him as he discovers who he is, what is important to him, who his people are, and what it means to be fully yourself the rest of the world be damned. It is the intersectionality of race and sexual orientation. It is impossible to dissect the different pieces of who Michael is because he is all of himself and no one part is more important than any other and make him the beautiful person he is.

We journey with him from the little boy who just really wants a Barbie, to learning that the color of his skin means people will make huge assumptions about him (there is an interaction between his uncle and the police that is visceral and timely), to the man he finds himself turning into when he goes off to University and finds a place and people who claim him and he them in all their beautiful imperfect perfection.

I am so grateful for the time I got to spend in this book. I am so grateful to have met Michael and Daisy and MzzB. I am forever grateful that Dean put pen to paper and his words were published so I could wrap myself in them and share them with my son. I can't wait for Joshua to read this. I can't wait to tell everyone about this. I can't wait for you to read this.

(Finished June 4, 2020)

The Secret Commonwealth (The Book of Dust #2) by Philip Pullman

After the His Dark Materials trilogy comes the prequel-sequel trilogy The Book Of Dust.
First was La Belle Sauvage (The Book of Dust #1) and not this one.

I loved the first book. Malcom's story just pulled me in and never let go. This one was different. It takes place about 20 years after the first part, about 8-10 years after The Amber Spyglass, and we find Lyra a young adult.

This one was long and slow to start. It clocks in at about 630 pages. And I hate to say it but I had a hard time with Lyra at the start of this book. After talking to my friend Leenie I am able to put words into how it was for me. It was like angsty Harry in Order of the Phoenix. Lyra is having a hard time and is angsty and dealing with the fall out of what happened to her and Pan the last time we say them in the original story. Once Malcom is back in the story it picked back up some for me. It feels like La Belle Sauvage was a separate story and had no heavy lifting to do, no setting up for a next part because the next part was HDM and we know that story. It was only slightly Lyra's story, it was Malcom's mostly and partly Alice's. And it was action filled and fast paced. For The Secret Commonwealth it was slower moving, a sweeping epic story that travels the whole world. There is a change to and a more extreme Magistirium. Some mystery involving roses, rose oil, and a land of dæmons who are separated from their person. A burning man shows up, and something a plot to murder. There are a lot of threads here.

It is interesting, we learn more about Mrs. Coulter. Some old friends show up. It just felt slower moving and that was hard to reconcile with the other books. I am glad I read it. I really liked it it. I am really anxious to see how it all wraps up. I feel like the tension slowly ratchets and then BAM the last few pages and pow!!

Not my favorite part of this story but defiantly worth the read.

(Finished June 3, 2020)

La Belle Sauvage (The Book of Dust #1) by Philip Pullman

After watching the HBO series His Dark Materials late last year I used some of my Hanukkah B&N gift card to buy the books and then I finally got around to reading them in in the past few weeks, The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass . If I had read them first I don't think I would have liked the show as much but since I didn't I was able to enjoy it but oh I loved the story in the books. At the urging of one of my dearest friends I grabbed this book and the second which I will be starting as soon as I am done with this post.

La Belle Sauvage isn't really Lyra's story but rather the beginning of the story of how Lyra came to be at Jordan College. It is Malcom's story and oh I love Malcom. You will too, I truly believe that.

He is a just as amazing and smart and brave as Lyra and Will are. Pullman does a great job treating children as capable of being brave and intelligent, of defying the odds and just not accepting failure as an option. The adults aren't always the smarter group of people in this world. And sometimes they aren't very good. But there is a clear sense of good and bad, to us the reader, even while the characters are faced with shades of gray and doing the best they can with what they have/know.

While this really is Malcom's story, he is our POV and our hero, we also get some more of the story of Lord Asriel, Mrs. Coulter, Fardar Coram, and learn some more about the Gyptians and the world that Lyra's story takes place in later.

Parts of the story had my heart pounding with fear. More of the connection between people and their dæmons is explained. And the connection between what kind of person someone is and the form their dæmon takes is one that I found interesting. Much like in the world we inhabit, what people look like isn't always what they would look like if their nature/their personality decided their looks. But in this world it is interesting that a dæmon can represent that, we can see their inner self reflected outwards in their dæmon. It was something I noticed with Mrs. Coulter and her monkey in the original trilogy. He was never named and was described as fearful and awful while she is described as extremely charming and beautiful. This becomes the case with a character in this book too.

I am hooked and hope the rest of this trilogy continues to charm and scare and entertain.

(Finished May 17, 2020)

Shuri: A Black Panther Novel (Marvel) by Nic Stone

Nic Stone wrote one of my favorite books of 2018, Dear Martin. I have her book Odd One Out and I will be reading it in June, yes I am mad at myself for not getting to it sooner, if you saw my TBR cart you would understand how books get buried and I am telling you, the struggle is real. And I will be getting Jackpot and Dear Justyse soon because if Nic writes it I am going to read it.

This one though, ohhh I ordered it as soon as it was released...I had it one my calendar when the release date was announced. Black Panther is my favorite MCU movie and I love all the strong female characters in it. I mean come one, the warriors of Wakanda are WOMEN!!!! Baddass beautiful strong women!! And I try to read a few middle grade books a year so I can honestly give suggestions to people buying books for young people while at work as a bookseller.


Everything about this book is beautiful. The cover has a great picture of Shuri on it and she just looks like you want her to look, strong and fierce and her smirk!! And there is so much purple, which happens to be my favorite color, even the text is purple!!

Keep in mind this is a middle grade, young reader book, so you will find it in the children's section at a bookstore so there won't be sex or gore or too much violence and what fighting there is won't be graphic. But that being said, the story is AMAZING!!! There is a mystery to be solved about what is happening top the heart-shaped plant that gives whoever is the Black Panther is abilities, why the plant is dying. And Share can see there is a problem but no one wants to take a 13 year old girl seriously and she is frustrated. So using her brain and all the amazing gadgets she works on in her lab, where she is given at least some real responsibilities, like building/creating the Panther suit her brother wears, she and her "best friend" K'Marah, a Dora Milaje in training, are going to stop what ever this is. They seek out and get help from an unexpected ally, which made me cheer out loud.

I think this is more in line with comic cannon and rather than the movies. But that's ok. It is so much fine and a little bit scary. It celebrates girls being smart and capable which is what all kids needs to read, boys and girls. There is the typical young person anger at not being taken seriously but also the warning about not asking for help and the danger it can get you into, but it is not pushy and readers won't feel like they are being preached to about "listen to your elders."

There are some chuckle worthy things, they have a version on a smart phone and tv/movie watching and the names will make you smile.

I don't care how old you are, this is a fun and exciting read. It made me so happy.

(Finished May 13, 2020)