Each of Us a Desert by Mark Oshiro

 I read Mark's first book, Anger Is A Gift back in 2018 and I was hooked and added him to my if he writes it I am there list of authors, it doesn't matter the content, I am all in. 

My son and I went to LeakyCon in October 2019, the 10th Anniversary (I was on staff at the very first one in 2009, and his first con). We got to meet Mark and I was even more hooked. He is warm and welcoming and just amazing. And at the OpenMic event hosted by Wizards In Space (please support them) Mark read from this book and my son made Mark laugh so hard he was crying!! So we are basically life long friends now LOL. 

Just the other day the manager of the Barnes & Noble where I am so honored to be a bookseller came up to me with an ARC that had just arrived. And she handed it to me and said as soon as she read the note with it she knew it was a Wendy Book. I looked down and in my hands was Each of Us a Desert and I literally squealed!! I told her how I had been looking forward to this since October and how I heard him read from it.

So now I have finished it and I am so excited to tell you what I thought. 

This book is a lot!! It is poetry. It is fantasy. It is a mystery. It is a coming of age and finding yourself story. It is really left me feeling like I had been reading Mark's diary. It is beautiful and it is strange and it is full of love and pain and confusion and life and death. 

"I would rather make another terrible decision than live knowing I hadn't tried." I loved this line and it really is a theme that threads itself into the story. 

It took me a little while to get into the grove of the storytelling style Mark was using here. It is a really change from Anger. That isn't a bad thing, not even close. The language is beautiful. If like me you don't speak Spanish don't worry, context makes it pretty clear what is being said and after awhile I found my footing. I did look up some of the words because I really wanted to know the exact translations but it didn't impede my love of the book in anyway. And the language is beautiful. It felt more impactful, had more punch if you will, felt more authentic to the story and no author owes it to anyone to not use languages other than English. 

The story is fascinating. I think it is an allegory. If I am reading too much into it that is all on me and not the fault of the author at all, but I really feel like I am correct. 

The story is told by Xochitl to Solís, a god figure. She is a young girl who has a power she didn't ask for and realizes she doesn't want. She takes people's stories, confessions actually. They are relived of what ever guilt or bad feelings are plaguing them and Xochitl goes out into the desert and regurgitates the stories, giving them to Solís and retaining no memory of the story. Until she doesn't give a story up..she keeps it. And once she has kept it she can't stop taking the stories but because she needs the first one she kept (I won't tell you why, you have to read the book to find out) she can't give those up either. This makes her realize something...people are dumping their stories into her, reliving themselves of the burden but they aren't learning anything or changing bad behaviors. And since she doesn't remember the stories once she gives them to Solís there is no accountability and no need for anyone to change. This is the catalyst that sets her journey in motion. 

The fantasy )or maybe even a little SciFy) piece of this work is: Who is this Solís, why have They destroyed the world and started over, why must people like Xochitl take stories, who is in charge of the mysterious Solado and what happened there, who is leaving poems hidden in the desert...

But the story really feels like it is about trying to figure out who you really are even as the world dumps its expectations of who you should be into your soul, loving who you are even if you aren't 100% sure who that is, and finding your own path and that it is ok to stumble and make mistakes along the way. It feels like a story about it being ok to question authority and belief systems and making your mind up for yourself about what you believe or don't. It's about love and loss and healing. It's about it being OK TO BE YOU!! And for kids of color and queer kids this is so important. 

Thank you Mark for sharing this story with the world!!

(Finished August 27, 2020)

Sal and Gabi Break the Universe (Sal and Gabi #1) by Carlos Hernandez

 I have no shame in my game!! I love a good story and I don't care if it is a picture book, young reader or a middle grade, YA (my favorite area to read from), or adult. A good story is a good story. And as a bookseller with a dream of someday owning my own books store I consider it research for work. 

That being said I am working my way through the collection of Rick Riordan Presents series. I read Aru Shah and the End of Time (Pandava Quartet #1) and I loved it. I have book 2 and haven't got to read it yet but I will. I decided to read the Rick Riordan Presents books in paperback so there will be waiting for releases and when I am done I will be donating them to the classroom library of a middle school teacher friend. Well except for Pandava #2 which I have in hardcover because it was part of a half price deal awhile back. 

The great thing about these books is that each series explores a different culture, has characters that are BIPOC, has girls that are smart and powerful, and has stories where girls can be the heroes. Something I tell people who come into the bookstore I work in when they ask for  children's books that are boy's books or girl's books is that there are no such things, there are just books for children and that girls and children who aren't white have been reading stories for generations that had boys (and most often white boys) as the stars so it won't do any harm for their boys to read stories with girls as the main characters. 

Ok, so all of that and now I am going to tell you about this one...I LOVED IT!! I'm going to share a little more by way of details than I normally do because with this book being written for the middle grade content could be a factor when deciding if it is write for your middle schooler. 

The majority of the characters in this story are Cuban or of Cuban descent. 

Sal is starting a new school in Miami after moving with his father and "American Stepmother" from Connecticut.  His mother died 5 years prior to the time the story takes place. He loves his father and stepmother and why she is called "American Stepmother" is explained and it is loving and kind, you just have to wait for the telling. This story is told from Sal's POV and he gets to things in his own way and time. He is a diabetic and he talks openly about it, having to eat on time, the worries if he doesn't, checking his glucose, and what he can and can't eat as well has being in the hospital. And his mother and her being dead play a huge part of the story. 

Gabi is a student at Sal's new school. An amazing school by the way, one that as a parent I wish was real. She is super smart and quite and old soul. Her family is amazing and it is a beautiful example of building a family based on love and not just blood. You will want to be part of this family!!

Gabi and Sal don't become friends right away but are surprised by how quickly they realize they are really and truly friends, fastest friends ever they say. There is another student that Gabi is friends with and looks out for, Yasmany, and his story isn't explicitly told but it is slowly revealed he is being abused in some way (no details) by his mother. His story has a happy ending at least in this volume of the story, he is taken under the wing of Gabi's huge-built-on-love family (along with Sal and his family). 

Sal talks a lot about the therapy he has had and how he learned some amazing coping skills and we see him using them. There isn't any shame or stigma attached and it is stressed, often by Sal, that feeling feelings is ok. He places great weight on being kind. Sal loves magic and how he learned it and why are part of his coping skills. 

But there is something else about Sal that is quite amazing. He can cut holes into the multiverse and interact with which ever verse he is in. There is some science behind it and is huge part of the story. It is really neat and I think while for adults we may shake our heads and find it a little "unreal" it is fun and enjoyable and middle school kids will really like it (I think so anyway). One of the things that you should be aware of before putting this into the hands of a middle schooler is that one of the things that happens with the super power (for lack of a better way of describing it) is bringing a version of his mother from another universe over to this one.

Anyway, I found this a fun and interesting and touching story. I love Sal and Gabi. I love the adults in their lives. And I will read more about them!!

(Finished August 20, 2020)

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker: A Memoir in Essays by Damon Young

This was the next book in my antiracist reading books. I am not only reading specific books about antiracism and being antiracist, I am including books on Black history and books about and by Black people. My thinking on this is that choosing everyday to be antiracist is more than just reading "how to" books. It is also choosing to support whenever and wherever possible Black owned businesses.  It is also reading books that are both nonfiction and fiction by Black authors on many topics . My thinking here is that if I want to truly learn and be a positive ally I need to hear, really hear, Black voices and not what white people think Black voices and stories sound/look like. 

I have seen Damon on different news programs giving commentary and was intrigued and so bought his book. I am really glad I did. 

Something I won't be doing in this write up is talking about anything this book made me feel with one exception which I hope when you read it you and Damon (and not that he will but if he did read this) don't mind.  

Damon writes with such raw emotion and vulnerability about his life. He also writes with so much humor that there were times I laughed out loud even as I cringed for teenage Damon or college age Damon. He shares his insecurities and mistakes as well as his triumphs. His love for his parents is on every page even when the story he is sharing isn't about them, but when you hold the thread of his stories together you can see the bigger picture. 

Damon is very open about his feelings about white people and the way we have made him, the way we have made Black people for centuries, feel. And yes I am saying we, because even as I, and hopefully you if you too are white and reading this, try to be better each day, to fight for systemic changes, we have benefited in so many ways, the majority of it unearned, in this system as it is setup. And so we are part of the problem. I don't care nor do I want to know if you feel uncomfortable with any of his stories or the feelings he shares...And I don't think Damon does either...

EXCEPT....here is the feels I was telling you I would share....when Damon writes about his daughter...and his desires for her future and the way he felt when she was born and the way he talks to her about what she can do as/when she grows up is the most heartfelt, heartbreaking, loving, life affirming, beautiful....I had all the feels and was so grateful for his sharing the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly, but especially the worry about how in the hell am I supposed to take care of this tiny human being, I don't even know if I can take care of myself...too may new fathers, too many new mothers, feel this but worry they will be judged for it...

The rawness and realness that Damon shares is more than we deserve....I am a firm believer in do the work yourself white people and stop asking the BIPOC you know to do it for you...and so when someone writes a book or a blog, records a podcast or video, writes and article...read it, listen to it, watch it...because they are giving you a gift....This is just such a gift....

(Finished August 17, 2020)

The Fell of Dark by Caleb Roehrig

The first book I read by Caleb was White Rabbit and I was immediately hooked. He earned a spot on my "if they write it I am there for it" list. When his third book (my second by him) Death Prefers Blondes book came out I was so super excited and got it on release day. While waiting for this one I went back to his beginning and read his first book Last Seen Leaving. 

Caleb is also one of my most favorite people on the planet but on Twitter too. 

And now here we are, his 4th book and I have been so damn excited for this. 

It's a gay vampire magical environmental warning story....Sound like a head scratcher? I promise it isn't. It is fun and campy and scary and gory and gay and fangtastic. 

Auggie is 16 and never been kissed or on a date and he lives in a town a little like Sunnydale but with less Xander and more Spike and less secrets, sort of. Vampires are a known population in this town outside Chicago. But there are still lots of secrets going around...

Just as Auggie goes on his first date with the hot barista from his favorite cafe he finds out no one is who he thinks they are. And his life is in danger...he is the subject of a prophecy about this Corrupter who is supposed to be the one who ends the sting of the sun on the undead...but if he rises Auggie dies...

I absolutely adore the snarky way Caleb write. I love Vampire stories. I loved this story. And it works that there is an environmental message in all the fangs and magic. It doesn't sound like it should but it does...because even vampires know, hell they especially know, given the undead nature of being a vampire and the very long "lives" they "live", that we mortals are killing the only planet we have...I know, you are thinking what?!? But hey it isn't over the top and it works here...Trust me....

Vampires and Witches and Rasputin oh my!!! Read this book!!!

(Finished August 10, 2020)

A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi

Because of a 2 for 1 credit sale on Audible I got this book. It was one on my radar for quite sometime but I hadn't purchased in hard copy. I used to listen to audiobooks more often when I was commuting an hour and 20 each way to school. More recently it has been my husband who has made use of our audible account at least until COVID19 meant he was working from home and not driving in. And for someone who doesn't read much but loves stories this is great. Occasionally I will listen now on my walks or longer car rides when I am alone. This was one. 

I am so glad I did. The story is incredible. With audiobooks the voice reading to you is as important as the words they are reading so along with my thoughts on the story I will also talk about the audiobook specifics. 

Priya Ayyar did a wonderful job. It didn't come across as overly acted, but she added so much emotional and life to the words that you could feel them. That is something that can be missing from audiobooks, they can be dry and un-engaging.  When I read a hard copy of a book I often "hear" the voices while reading and the emotions of the characters, there is in essence a little narrator in my head. A dry or detached audiobook reader ruins the experience and can ruin a great story. Priya doesn't do that. She makes the story come alive, to make the listener/reader feel connected to the work even without the pages in hand. It leaves the listener free to absorb and enjoy the words, the story, the content. 

While a bad reader for an audiobook can ruin a great story there is nothing that can be done to save a bad story...this is not a bad story. I loved this book. It broke my heart. It made me angry. It made me laugh and cry. 

Set in the year after 9/11 we meet our main character, Muslim teen Shirin. Her family has moved a lot because of her father's work and the troubles with being the new kid so often are made harder now. She has built walls around herself that are Fort Knox level. She is tired of being stereotyped, tired of the rude stares and comments, tired of the horrible way people treat her, the way it is assumed she is some terrorist or terrorist sympathizer, assumed that she isn't American, can't be from "here." 

But then along comes Ocean. And her world is rocked and her heart begins to thaw. And what follows isn't a pretty neat typical teen romance novel. I mean there is some of that...two teens falling for each other face something that separates them and may end up keeping them apart unless they can overcome...but the what, the how, the details here are more raw and real...more relevant to the times we are living in. 

When the world tells you you aren't worthy it is so hard to believe you are even when someone comes along and says you are and tries to show you. 

Shirin talks about "the perfect ridiculousness of hight school." And that is so true. She is treated horribly, I mean really awfully, and not just by peers but by adults too. She finds a safe space and some joy in a Breakdancing club her brother and some others start. And this leads to something that changes how she is viewed and she is as shook by that as she was the way she was treated before...And the hypocrisy and ridiculous nature of it isn't lost on her...but it also allows for the chance to look within and learn about herself too. 

Tahereh does something I like a lot even as I find it frustrates the part of me that longs for the neat and wrapped up happy ending, she leaves room for more, either by her or by us the readers, there is room to imagine the next steps, to talk about them with each other...to understand that in life we don't always get the know or see the "what next" and since this is a YA book it is important to get the target readership comfortable with the uncomfortable, the unknown, the wait and see. 

I truly enjoyed and was moved by, left touched by my time in Shirin's world and I think you will be too. 

(Finished August 6, 2020)

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

I am not perfect. Not even close. I make mistakes. I don't always know when I have made mistakes. Specific to my biases, most I'm not even aware I have (implicit) and am acting on....when I have them pointed out to me, I am at a point in my life that I see it is a gift someone is giving me when they take the time to tell me something I have said or done has caused harm, was racist, hurt them. They have given me the gift of not walking away even though they are hurt, or allowing me to grow and learn and then take that lesson to so better and be better. It is a gift.  I learned there is no shame in owning a mistake, making amends, and then learn and never make the same mistake again. The shame is in not growing, in not changing, in denying or playing the victim, in so many things, but not in saying your sorry and doing your best to do better going forward. 

But talking about race is hard. It is easy to make mistakes, it is easy to say the wrong thing and the fear of those makes it hard to talk about. If you are not knew to this, learning to walk the walk AND talk the talk on the path to being Antiracist (one that by the way never ends and is a commitment needing renewing every day) then you have probably learned the lesson about not asking BIPOC to be your own personal Google...And that is so important. It is exhausting surviving in the white supremacist world forced upon them, they don't need to so the work for us, the work of learning the real history of the oppression and subjugation and abuse this country was built upon and the harm still being done 400+ years later. But when someone takes the time to offer to talk to you, to answer your questions, to hold a talk, to write an article or a book, take the opportunity and listen, attend, be present, read. 

And then if you are white you must share. Share what you learn with others. Do the work instead of asking BIPOC to do it. Be willing to acknowledge your unearned privilege and then be willing to use it to protect BIPOC, bear witness, be willing to part with the privilege by giving it away in defense of those who shouldn't need but do need it. 

This is one of those books you must read. While trying to figure out what to share with you I realized, much like while reading, I wanted to share it all. So instead I will tell you that Ijeoma writes in a way that will make you drop your guard and take in what she is giving to her readers. It isn't always comfortable, hell is if more often than not quite uncomfortable to look inside oneself and see the ugly parts we try to pretend don't exist. But imagine discomfort of living in a world where you are told and shown and told and shown for centuries that your bones aren't worth the skin they are housed in, that your mind is somehow less, how you are less, less than someone because they have white or light skin, less than someone so not worthy...so swallow your pride, sit with the uncomfortable feelings, ask yourself why your are unsettled by the thought that you are responsible for stepping up and speaking out...

Please read this book. 

(Finished August 5, 2020)

***implicit bias refers to the attitudes or stereotypes that affect our understanding, actions, and decisions in an unconscious manner.

explicit bias refers to the attitudes and beliefs we have about a person or group on a conscious level.*** 

The Name of the Wind (The Kingkiller Chronicle #1) by Patrick Rothfuss

I admit this book took me way longer to read than is typical for me and longer than I wanted it to. Ever since the pandemic started I have gone through phases where I couldn't focus or was pulled away by things. Some of that played a part here. 

Why it took me so long: 

• I started selling Pampered Chef again and spent time running my first party and building my library of scheduled posts. 
• I got sucked into doing a re-watch of Once Upon A Time 
• And then a re-watch of Star Trek Discovery BECAUSE SEASON 3 IS COMING IN OCTOBER!!
• This book is close to 700 pages long and it took me a little while to get into and to figure out how to carry it comfortably while walking Charlie. 
• I found out I am going back to work soon (next week actually) and I have been a little distracted. 
• This book is almost 700 DAMN PAGES LONG....

Ok so now the book. The first in the Kingkiller Chronicle series which I was told by my friend at work Mike that I needed to read, that it is kind of like a grownup Harry Potter. So I grabbed it and figured why not..I had been putting it off and I was having a hard time deciding on what to read next from my cart of books...

The story's many character, Kvothe, has a name that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue...there is actually a video HERE that has Rothfuss doing pronunciations...but it still isn't a 100% clear...I have been saying K-VO-TH (a hard K sound and a long O sound). 

I did enjoy this story. A lot. I liked the format of story telling, he is telling his story to The Chronicler and occasionally we are pulled back from the story unfolding in the past and into the present where Bast, Kvothe (Kote), and Bast are together in the inn. Kvothe is super smart, smarter than most of the people he meets and he knows it and sometimes he is so very arrogant. But he faces a terrible tragedy at a young age and it sort of stunts him and sends him on a new path than the one he was on and his arrogance is kind of understandable. He isn't unlikeable, at least in this book, I don't know what he is like in the next installment. 

Magic in this world is more science based and there is a lot of talk about how elements work together and what is involved into "magic." While this is a world building book it doesn't take the slow path in doing so because he is telling his story to Chronicler and thus to us he is building as he goes and it isn't built before the story gets started. It really is part of the story itself. 

There are times when you are reminded that Kvothe is young and inexperienced about many things, like relationships/intimacy and this helps keep him from becoming unlikable. Also his treatment of Auri reminds us that arrogance aside he is deep down a good person. 

Something happened to Kvothe's family and their traveling theater troop..he ends up on his own, and has to survive for a family long period of time on his own before he makes his way to the university. And if you think making it there will means his life becomes easier then you haven't read enough high fantasy or hero's journey stories...it gets better, gets worse, gets better, gets worse...often he snatches defeat from the jaws of a win....There is a mystery he is out to solve, what the hell happened the night his family died...and there is the mystery for us, what happened to him to get him to where he is, living in an inn using a new name...

It is a tightly written but long story...I will go on to book 2 at some point...I am not sure when but before too long, I don't have it yet and book 3 wasn't published yet and I have so many books TBR and so many series going so while I absolutely want to read the rest I am not in a huge hurry...

I will say that it took me awhile before I was sucked in but I did get sucked in and overall I really did like this book!!

(Finished August 2, 2020)