Anger Is a Gift by Mark Oshiro

Pride Month 2018 Read #11

Holy shit this hit me like a ton of bricks. This ticked all my boxes:

LGBTQ characters/story lines for my Pride Month themed reading- check

Diversity - check

Social Justice story - check 

Made me think - check

Made me feel - check

What Oshiro did here was write a story that could have been ripped from the nightly news about real people. The only thing fictional about this story, sadly, is the incident and specific people, but something near to or even almost exactly like what happened to Moss and his school and friends and neighborhood have happened, are happening. Think Oscar Grant. Think Eric Garner. Think Tamir Rice. Think Ferguson.

Moss goes to a school that is neglected and falling apart, literally. There aren't enough books, the lockers don't work, the paint is peeling, doors are falling off the hinges....Moss lives in a community that has militarized its police force. And the two have joined force, his school and the police, in a pilot program that goes horribly wrong.

It is hard to sum up a book so powerful but the closing line of the book does a pretty damn good job

"Stop killing us."


(Finished June 30, 2018)

Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera

Pride Month 2018 Read #10

Another book S told me about. Her mom tells me she likes to read books where Bi & Lesbian characters, especially when they are Brown young woman, really speak to her. S likes to be able to see herself in the characters she reads about sometimes and not always feel like White girls are the only girls who love, hurt, fly, fall, feel, shine, becomes heroes, become villains, learn, and grow. 

She gets not only that here in Juliet Takes a Breath, but Juliet has the same feelings as S. Juliet is a book nerd from the Bronx. She is smart, gay, loves the library, and she is Puerto Rican. She also isn't some skinny little wisp of a thing and she loves, and learns to love even more, her roundness. Juliet learns that love has so many forms and none are better than another. Her mom, who she loves dearly, loves her fiercely but in a way she has to grow to understand and really see. Her cousin is her guide to the Queer world when she finally realizes it and lets her in. And Juliet is beautiful and brave, she just takes a long time, longer than the reader, to realize it. 

This was a great and empowering read. It was also a reminder to check my privilege at the door. 

I'd like to take a moment to comment on white privilege because it becomes important to Juliet's summer as Harlow's intern. If you are White and deny you have or are offended at the suggestion of White Privilege you need to stop and ask why. We don't get followed around stores, we don't fear for our lives when stopped by police, we don't have people afraid to get on elevators with us or hold their purses closer to their sides when we walk past. There is a very real protection afforded by the luck of being born in skin that is "white." Yes, as women we all, before race (a social construct as much as gender is one too) is factored in, share a history of oppression and victimization, but it is worse for women of color, trans women, gay women...and to deny this or be offended by it is the very height of privilege. I beilieve we have a choice and I choose to use this to advocate for change and not to benefit from it. You can too, and one way you can do that is read books that make you feel uncomfortable and learn from them, ask people how you can be a better ally, what they need, what they have been through, and then LISTEN, really listen, check your pride and humble yourself enough to really listen. 

Ok, stepping off my soapbox...Juliet is amazing, I love her hard. Harlow is imperfect but wants to be better. Stepping out of ones comport zone isn't easy but sometimes the best of life happens for us when we do and that is what Juliet does and oh how her life becomes more full and interesting. Gabby Rivera is amazing with words. Thank you so much my dear S for putting this book in my life!! Thank you Gabby for making me uncomfortable and happy and feel love and joy and pain and fear and hope!!!

(Finished June 27, 2018)

 

Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality by Sarah McBride

Pride Month 2018 Read #9

Sarah McBride is beautiful. And it has nothing to do with how she looks, thought she is very much beautiful to look at too. But no, I mean she is beautiful down deep in her soul, the inner being she lays open and vulnerable on the page for the reader of her book. You can feel her pain and her worry. You can feel her torment leading up to and in the early days after she came out as she struggles to live as her authentic self. But you feel it most in the love and pain at finding and losing her beloved Andy. 

Yes, this is her story about the fight for equal rights and protection for Transgender people (who are at the end of the day, as she bluntly reminds us, HUMANS) and the LGBTQ population. But it is also her story, her love of politics starting in childhood, I love the image in my head of a young Sarah building a replica of the set of the DNC convention and saying Obama's keynote speech over and over. It is her experience learning to use her skills to advocate for causes she believes in and how to interact with elected officials, even those working cross purpose to her.

I sobbed at some points and cheered at others. And I felt a sweet of love for Sarah and Andy that will stay with forever. I hope to someday get to hug her and thank her and introduce my politically smitten 12 year old Bi son to her. 

(Finished June 24, 2018)

The Summer of Jordi Perez (and the Best Burger in Los Angeles) by Amy Spalding

Pride Month 2018 Read #8

The same incredible young person, S, who suggested I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe  suggested this one. And she is 2 for 2 (coming soon I will be reading the third book S told me about, Juliet Takes A Breath so we will see if her streak continues). 

I loved The Summer of Jordi Perez. I love Abby, Jax, and Jordi. I didn't love or even much like Maliah right away but she grew on me, never to love though. I was angry with Abby's mom and my heart ached for Abby and the way her mom's words stuck with her. It was a powerful reminder on the power our words carry and when we talk to our children we need to be super mindful of the way they hear us and what we mean. Damage is so hard to undo. 

Abby has a wicked sense of style and is smart, sassy, beautiful, and is a great friend. But she doesn't always see how amazing she is in the eyes of others because she feels like she is fat....she needs to learn to be kinder to herself and allow others to see her as they do and not as she thinks they should. It is a lesson so many of us need to learn be we gay, straight, bi, male, female, or something else, fat, skinny, tall, short, regardless of the color of our skin, we all at one time or another are way too hard on ourselves and judge ourselves too harshly and feel unworthy of love, but we aren't, we all deserve to love and be loved. And that is what Abby learns I think. 

If you take something else from the story I'd love to know. 

And darn if I'm not craving a burger now!!!

(Finished June 21, 2018)

Take Me with You by Andrea Gibson

Pride Month 2018 Read #7

The perfect example that size doesn't matter. 

So much is packed into this little (197 pages and pocket size) book. It weighs more than many thousand page books. 

Andrea Gibson's Take Me With You is in three sections, On Love, On The World, On Becoming. Each section, heck on almost each page, I thought I would share that poem with you as an example...so I had to narrow it down...to these two, which I hope will make you want more:

I WILL

NEVER

MAKE A

PINATA 

OF YOUR

HEART.

And:

YOU ARE

THE BEST

THING

THAT HAS

EVER

HAPPENED

TO YOU.

OK, I lied, here is one more:

YOU 

WILL

NEVER

HAVE

TO

LOSE

YOURSELF

TO

WIN

ME

OVER.

Gibson writes in a way that shouted to my heart is whispers and bangs. I will be reading this many times as I absorb all the honey and lemon in her words. Get yourself a copy and read it too. 

(Finished June 20, 2018)

Before I Had the Words: On Being a Transgender Young Adult by Skylar Kergil

Pride Month 2018 Read #6

Skylar tells his story in a way that is powerful, open, and raw but gentle and on his own terms without showing any signs he felt the need to share more than he does. This is important because one of the things he shares is the way over the years he got asked questions that were not appropriate for people to be asking and how he didn't know how to handle that and so felt terribly uncomfortable and at times said more than he really wanted to.

Many Transgender people don't have a supportive family, friends, and/or school. Skylar did, though don't mistake that as having had an easy time of it. He shares his personal internal struggle with learning about what was happening to him (leading to him understanding he was a boy), dealing with people who bullied him, and getting the help he needed from professionals in the medical space of his needs. Add this to the struggles that is typical to all teenagers and you begin to understand why the suicide rate among Transgender children and teens is so high.

Reading Skylar's writing feels like listening to his voice, a voice with words he worked really hard to find and learn to use. Besides his journey from the gender forced upon him at birth to where he sits today, a healthy, happy, and strong young man, and I don't know if this was intentional or a by product of telling his story, but he teaches a lot about setting ones own and respecting each others personal space and boundaries.

(Finished June 20, 2018)

Running With Lions by Julian Winters

Pride Month 2018 Read #5

Julian Winters has written a romance, a story about the lasting effects of being bullied on the fragile and developing sense of self of children, a story about the journey to find out who you are and what your place in the world looks like, a story about learning that LOVE IS LOVE, a story about what it means to be a family and not just the biological kind, and a story about love and respect of self and others all in one book.

Running With Lions is the story of Bastian and his last summer before starting senior year. But it is Willie and Mason and Emir and Hunter and Grey's story too. There were times this was a painful read because I really just wanted to hug these kids and bake them cookies and hear their thoughts and when they hurt I felt it. That is a huge testament to Julian's writing.

I loved his use of a soundtrack, yes a soundtrack in a book. No, the book isn't like those greeting cards that play music when you open them, but the characters have music they listen to and their musical choices are a huge part in making them come alive on the page, of giving them a sense of dimension, as if they were living breathing beings in the room and telling you their tale.

I guess if I had to list one thing, one piece of criticism, I would say, and this is just for my tastes, you may not mind, there were some times the soccer details made me have the Harry Potter Quidditch feeling. That is, when reading the Harry Potter books there were times when I felt like it was enough with the Quidditch details, get back to the story, only to realize after the fact, that there was a lot of to be learned about the characters through their playing of the sport. But I am a mushy kind of gal and I like the personal story parts the best over the big flashy show of a sporting event.

And of course I loved Lily, she is the kind of mom I see myself as, loving my children without them having to do anything to earn it other than exist. My son who is 12 going on 112 recently came out as Bi and we went to his first Pride event last week. My 17yo daughter is gender fluid and identifies as a Lesbian. I can only hope my kids end up with friends as loyal as the friends Bastian has.


Thanks Julian Winters for an enjoyable read, write more stories please.

(Finished  June 17, 2018)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe #1) by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Pride Month 2018 Read #4

This one came to be by recommendation from an incredible young person I will call S. I am waiting for delivery of more she suggested and will credit her in the review.

This one...Ari & Dante are two of the bravest boys I have ever read about. It isn't easy as an adult to face who you are and learn to love and accept that person, but as a teenager, with all that comes with being a teen, it can be, it is often, brutal.

We are often kinder and easier on others struggling than we are on ourselves. And there are so many times we can see something in others but not ourselves, not until it is pointed out to us.

That is the story here. Aristotle and Dante meet at the local pool. Dante teaches Ari to swim but as time passes they teach each other so much more. The boys learn about love and hate, trust, facing fear, and perhaps my favorite lesson- sometimes parents are pretty darn awesome!!! Ari & Dante both have amazing parents. They aren't perfect but they love their sons and they want the best for them. Sáenz writes the parent/child relationship so beautifully, the feelings I had were so raw and gave me chills. The parents don't talk down to their sons, they don't dismiss their feelings, they try to help them spread their wings and find themselves. The boys don't treat their parents as disposable or invisible. It is not your cookie cutter teen/parent relationship present in too many books, where the kids are way smarter than the parents and the parents are treated as stupid bookends.

As I neared the end of the book I tried to put it down, it was so beautiful and I had become so emotional I didn't want it to end but I couldn't put it down because I needed to see what was going to be the outcome.

I loved this book and I loved Sáenz's writing style.

(Finished June 14, 2018)

Queer, There, and Everywhere: 23 People Who Changed the World by Sarah Prager

Pride Month 2018 Read #3

Each of the 23 people in this book had some lasting impact on the LGBTQ community. Some of the people introduced here were ones I knew about and wasn't surprised to see, Harvey Milk, George Takes, Alan Turing, and even Eleanor Roosevelt. Others, like Abraham Lincoln did surprise me. And then there were those I hadn't heard of until this book, Ma Rainey, Jose Sarria, Bayard Rustin to name a few. 

Each person gets a few pages and is really just a brief introduction to who they are and why they are important to the history of the evolving of LGBTQ rights and understanding and the need for respect and understanding and equality. 

The nuggets are small but well written and enough to make you want to go read more about the people you meet here. 

(Finished June 12, 2018)

The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson

Pride Month 2018 read #2

I am a firm believer that "normal" is overrated. But I am not a teenager. I imagine for most teens it is closer to what Leo and David feel, the only way to make it through is fly under the radar and the best way to do that is to be or at least appear to be "normal."

But what exactly is "normal" and who gets to decide this? Is there room under the "normal" umbrella for those who appear so but got there by a different path? Transgender boys and girls ARE normal boys and girls even if their destination isn't the gender they were assigned at birth, because gender is more than biology.

Leo used to be Megan. But he has always known he wasn't a girl. So he began the transition process and Megan became Leo. But as so many of us know, kids can be the cruelest people, and the students at Leo's school knew him before...and then "February" happened and Leo was allowed to change schools. At his new school he is getting a fresh start, a place where he has never been anyone other than Leo. The plan is to be invisible, to not draw attention to himself, to just get through the next 2 years then go off to college. What he doesn't count on is falling for Alicia and meeting David.

David has always known he was in the wrong body but the only people who know it too are his best friends Felix and Essie. He wants to tell his parents, he has pretty cool parents units and is 99.9999% sure they wont turn him away no matter how shocked or hard it is for them to hear. But he hasn't said and he wears his girl clothes in secret, he learns how to wear makeup in secret, and he just wants to be seen as the girl that is who he really is. Then he meets Leo.

What "February" is broke my heart. I love Leo and David. Even though they are background characters I love Essie and Felix and how much they love David for who he is even if they can't do it openly fully. Essie even supplies clothes for David's SHE box.

I cried and cheered. I loved this book even when it was difficult.

(Finished June 11, 2018)

History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

Pride Month 2018 read #1


June is Pride Month and my goal is to read as many LGBTQ books as possible this month. This was the first, I had to read A Reaper At The Gates first.

History is All You Left Me is told from Griffin's voice in alternating points in time, the present which is just after the death of his best friend and first love Theo and the past starting from Griff and Theo coming out to each other and starting to date and leading up to their break up and Theo's death.

Griffin suffers from some pretty rough OCD symptoms which makes what he is going through that much more difficult. His story, and as much as there are those around him playing a major part in it, it really is Griffin's story, is about mental illness, first love, loss, grief, moving on from the past and embracing the present and future even though it is so damn scary and difficult. There is also strong thread about the need for forgiveness, of self and of others who have let us down and hurt us.

Griffin's pain is so honestly laid out for the reader to share even as he is hiding it from those around him and it is so real and human and so heartbreaking. By the end so much is learned about living in the face of death, being a friend, and taking care of oneself, it is a beautifully told story.

I was moved I think in a very personal way as I parent a 17 year old with mental illness and who is a member of the LGBTQ population and a 12 year old who just recently came out as Bi.


My next pick Pride Month reads will be The Art of Being Normal and Queer, There, and Everywhere: 23 People Who Changed The World.

(Finished June 10, 2018)

A Reaper at the Gates (Ember Quartet #3) by Sabaa Tahir

Amazon screwed up and I got my copy of Reaper 10 days early. I wont include any spoilers here so don't worry!!

This is book 3 in a 4 book series. I need book 4 NOW!!! You can read my thoughts on An Ember in the Ashes (Ember Quartet #1) and A Torch Against the Night (Ember Quartet #2) if you haven't already.

Reaper picks up where Torch left off, Blood Shrike/Helene, Elias, Laia, they are back, as are the baddies Marcus, Nightbringer, and Keris. The chapters alternate voice and POV and I would suggest paying attention to the chapter names/titles.

As in the other outings, the characters are smartly written, and the story is tense and full of excitement. The world Sabaa has created feels like it is breathing on the page and pulled me in. I could smell smoke and blood. I could hear the wind. I could feel the fear and anger.

Leaving these characters again is bittersweet. I loved, even when it wasn't nice stuff going on, spending time with them and learning more about their stories. I love how Sabaa writes her characters like we are here in the real world, complex where nothing is a simple as it seems or we wish it could be. There are shades of gray and things are nuanced. The why of a persons choices matter in helping to understand why they do what they do and maybe try and stop them or change their mind.

There are so many answers but also so many effin new questions too!!!

This is on my list of MUST READ books when I am asked for suggestions.

(Finished June 6, 2018)

The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen (Hendrik Groen #1) by Hendrik Groen

Another book I stumbled across on the Buy 2 Get 1 Free table. I was not disappointed. 

Hendrik is 83 and lives in a nursing or assisted living type place. He has no family that visits him, he had a daughter and his wife is in an institution, but he has this circle of friends, his tribe if you will, who have come to come to care for each other. 

Hendrik has decided to keep a journal for a year, a place where after he is gone his thoughts he hadn't been able to voice outlaid could be shared. What we are left with is an intimate, at times funny, at times painful, and at times cringe worthy look into the lives of the old and forgotten. 

There are some thoughts he has or comments he reports others voicing (a few times it isn't 100% clear if it's his belief of that of those around him and if he is displeased by them and being snarky) that are racist or anti-immigrant. I read this through my lens of experience as an American with liberal leanings, but this book was written 4 years ago in the Netherlands and so some of the cultural differences could be lost in translation. 

That being said, this book had a lot of heart and a few really good laughs. It was a sad and happy, interesting and frustrating, real feeling look into the lives of Hendrik and his peers and I couldn't help but love him!!

(Finished June 1, 2018)