Dear Martin by Nic Stone

Like Starr in The Hate U Give Justyce is trying to find his voice, to be his true self, in a split world that both says they want him to be and they don't want him to try too hard to move on and up. 

Jus is a good kid. He is really smart and in the 3rd grade was placed in an accelerated learning program that landed him in the best High School around. He tells us he does his best to be a good guy, he doesn't dress like he's a gang member, he would never wear his pants around his butt to show off his underwear, and he loves and respects his mother and other adults. But he is painfully aware that he is one of only a few Black students at his school, another being his best friend Manny. Manny has known most of these kids since kindergarten because unlike Jus and his single mom, Manny's parents are rich so until High School they were in different school systems. 

After good guy Jus goes to rescue his on again off again girlfriend Melo, who happens to look white but is biracial, from driving drunk a police officer assumes Jus is up to know good and is harming her. The officer is unnecessarily rough with Jus, and he ends up in too tight handcuffs for a few hours. When he is released he doesn't get so much as an apology for the "misunderstanding." But it opens his eyes more, he begins to see and hear things he didn't pick up on or unconsciously ignored before. He also starts a project to restudy the writing of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and writes out his thoughts and feelings in the form of a journal of letters addressed to Martin. 

SJ is a white, Jewish girl at school who is Justyce's debate team partner. She is smart and outspoken about the racial injustice she sees around her. She wants to do better, be better, and it isn't easily accepted by her classmates. And she and Jus have feelings for each other. This allows a powerful story thread with his mom, because she has always made it clear she would never accept him dating a white girl. She has been so hurt and changed by discriminations she has seen and faced she doesn't like or trust white people much and for sure not as a life partner for her son. This plays a part in why Jus is so hesitant to acknowledge any feelings he has for SJ. It also opens the line of thought- can we really be surprised given the history of Black people in the US, if they feel like we White people are out to get them?

Dear Martin is gut wrenching. It made me so angry. It broke my heart. It pretty much shredded me, but then in the last few pages it filled me with hope. It strengthened my resolve to use the privilege that, unjustly so, comes with my skin to speak out against it, against discrimination, against racism, and be an ally. I am still learning the best way to do this, and a big part of it is reading books, fiction and nonfiction, that will help me better understand what is happening even when I don't see or hear it, to listen to the stories of those living the injustice. Then talking about it with other white people, and not letting others get away with making "jokes" and being asshats. 

(Finished July 29, 2018)

White Rabbit by Caleb Roehrig

Holy Cow!!! This was something!!! It was a coming of age figuring out your place in a community that wants to throw you out, figuring out sexuality, first love, and it was a chilling mystery!! Not easy to wrap up in one place successfully but Roehrig did it!!

I knew by page 14 or so that I was going to love his writing style when the insult one character throws out is to call someone "an absolute prolapsed rectum of a human being." There is so much snark in these pages it feels authentic and I love it. 

And as for the mystery, well I didn't think I knew who it was until very near the end, and then the reveal, and I was wrong!! And yes, I am so happy about that. I hate figuring out who-dun-it too soon, and while I don't mind being right when I figure it out, I really like being wrong and it making sense when the actual unsub (yes I used to watch Criminal Minds) is revealed. 

As for the love story, it doesn't feel like an extra or throw away plot, it doesn't crowd the story but enhances it and I found myself rooting for Rufus and Bash and wanting to admonish Rufus for not at least listening even as I understood why he couldn't. His hurt felt real and as someone who has had a broken heart I got why he was shutting Bash down, but the mama hen in me wanted to tell him to listen and maybe it might help him heal. 

Spoiler Alert, tho minor: I was glad we got the scene we did between Bash and his dad. Parents aren't perfect and it is ok to admit we make mistakes too. People who say parents shouldn't apologize to their kids are just plain wrong, we are our kids first example on how to own a mistake and make it right. 

(Finished July 29, 2018)

Little & Lion by Brandy Colbert

When I told a friend about this book when I was about to start it she said it sounds like a lot going on in one book but if handled well it could be good. Well it is a lot going on. And for the most part it is done well.

I got this one thinking my son could read it too and we could talk about where he is in trying to figure out his sexuality as well as how his sister's bipolar impacts him. He is 12 going on 112 and reads at a very high level. But I am not 100% sure now I will have him read this. There are some sexual situations, nothing too graphic but more than might be ok for him for another year or 2.

There are a few times that it feels a little forced, the threads of the many different strands Colbert is trying to weave together but overall it is a good story. Suzette, called Little by her brother, was sent to boarding school when her brother had a mental health break and it changed everything. Her brother's trust in her, her feeling connected to her family, and her connection with her friends. Lionel, Lion to his sister, is diagnosed with bipolar and it is a hard time for everyone, trying to figure out his care and condition. Their parents think they are saving Suzette by sending her to boarding school.

While away she falls for her roommate Iris and it leads to her trying to figure out her sexuality because once home she has feeling for Emil, the son of his mother's best friend, and Rafaela, the girl she meets and gets a job with. The rub is that Lionel has a huge crush on and wants to date Rafaela  and ends up asking her out.

Little loves Lion so much she ignores her feelings for Rafaela and begins seeing Emil romantically all while trying to process the huge and dangerous secret Lion has shared with her as well as the troubles she was having at school.

For parents it is hard to balance the needs of everyone in a family, and when one has some sort of illness, be it medical or mental health, it tends to consume most of the oxygen in the room and doesn't leave much for other children, each other, and oneself. Little & Lion's parents want to do right by them both and in that desire they make mistakes. What makes them special is that they are able to admit when they mess up and that sets a good example for Little & Lion.

While yes those are a lot of issues in one story it also rings authentic because that's what life really is, a bundle of many things happening to us at once that aren't always related except in that it is happening to one person.



(Finished July 28, 2018)

PS this is book #60 of the year which meets my goal for books read this year over on Goodreads!!!

Ghost Boys by Jewell Parker Rhodes

I bought this today because my friend Kelly, a teacher wrote about it on Goodreads and I knew I had to get it for me and my son. It was in the children's section, an area we don't much shop in anymore, as the reading level of the books is now too easy for my son and he is more into YA. But this was an important read for kids, teens, and adults. 

I just know this is going to do no justice to the powerful book I just started and finished in a couple of hours. I am gutted and cried. I am angry and sad. 

Black boys, and I do mean boys, as in children, shouldn't be criminalized for nothing other than the color of their skin. But too often that is what happens. 

Jerome is playing in an abandoned lot in his Chicago neighborhood. He is running and pretending to be a good guy while playing with a toy gun. A cop car comes up and with no warning, without even getting out of the car, he is shot in the back by the white officer. Yes, this is very much like Tamir Rice. It is what inspired Rhodes to write this story. 

 The connection between Jerome and Emmett Till as Ghost Boys is haunting, literally and figuratively. There are glimpses of others, a whole army of Ghost Boys each seen by someone because as Emmett tells Jerome, "Only the living can make the world better."

I want to be the best I can at making change, I am as Jerome says of Sarah, a white girl but not "white girl" and I know I have a voice that can be used to say this must stop, these young men must be remembered and their ranks not added to. 

Powerful, painful, important. 

(Finished July 27, 2018)

Never Fade (The Darkest Minds #2) by Alexandra Bracken

Ruby is back and Never Fade picks up a few months after the end of The Darkest Minds.
I am going to try to do this in a spoiler free way, but if you haven't read book 1 please stop here.



Ruby has a new group of "friends," now that she is with The League, Nico, Vida (who gets the short story at the end of this book the way Liam did in book 1), and Jude.
She misses Liam and Chubs but is convinced she did the right thing. That is until it is discovered that the life of her and her team are in danger and the revelation of the prisoner they rescued on an Op.

It's kind of frightening to see how Lord of the Flies some of the groups of kids have gone when left to their own devices. I'm not sure if Bracken intended to include a message about adults needing to protect kids from themselves as they grow into adults to allow them to grow and mature in a safe and healthy way, but that is something I was left thinking. In both books we get to see examples of what happens when adults aren't doing a good job of providing the care and instruction needed for kids to mature into healthy and productive adults as well as what happens when they do. And not all the kids left to their own follow the path of destruction, greed, fend for oneself at all costs, some even with the trauma they have been through form healthy bonds and want to do right and be better. It's interesting. But it isn't a beat you over the head soapbox. The story is full of excitement and tension.

And after the way this one ended, I need book 3 ASAP but my local store doesn't have any so it will be a couple of days!!!! BOOO!!!!

(Finished July 27, 2018)

Clock Dance by Anne Tyler

Back in 2016 I read A Spool of Blue Thread for a bookclub I used to be part of in my community. I really enjoyed it. So when when Barnes & Noble announced its 2nd Bookclub event (the first was The Female Persuasion by Meg Wolitzer) and this was the book I felt pretty sure I would at least not hate it. So I signed up and used some of my birthday gift card (my birthday was 6 days ago) to buy this selection. And I loved it!!!


The starting point is a moment that imprints itself on Willa and changes who she is in way she has no idea of yet, after all she is only 11. Her mother, who has always been completely predictable in her unpredictability, vanishes for a few days then returns as suddenly as she left. Those couple of days plant a seed in Willa and grows and changes who she might have been into who she becomes. It is one of those clear before and after moments that sometimes happen to us.

The story follows Willa in 1967, 1977, 1997, and 2017. How her mother's moods and behaviors changes her is different than how her sister is impacted. Willa is a people pleaser, people being everyone but herself. When an accidental shooting has her dragged into her son's ex's and the ex's daughter's life Willa begins to see. Seeing isn't always easy and sometimes we don't like what see. Where Tyler really hits home here is how Willa grows and sees and what she chooses, when she learns or realizes she has a choice to make.

I can't wait to talk to who ever shows up for the discussion night for this one!!

(Finished July 23, 2018)

The Darkest Minds (The Darkest Minds #1) by Alexandra Bracken

While I know now that there is a movie coming soon based on this book I hadn't heard of it until my husband gave be this as one of a bag of books he got me for my birthday a few days ago. He saw it in the store and thought I would like it. 

I DID!!!! And I can't wait to read the rest of the series. The only reason I am not jumping right into book 2 is because I need to read Clock Dance by Anne Tyler for Barnes & Noble's book club night coming soon. 

I have a love of stories like this, where there is something that happens that changes the world, how it is run, who is in charge, who thinks they are in charge, new world order type stuff. While this isn't exactly Hunger Games or Uglies or Matched...etc....it kind of fits that YA Sub-Genre. 

Some of the children in the US start to show powers or abilities while others die of a virus. Adults act in fear and try to "fix" the kids which involves putting them into camps and keeping them away from the world. 

But then Chubs, Liam, Zu, and Ruby find each other. They become a family of sorts and face what they learn about their powers, the rulers, and love and loss. 

Ruby is 16 now but has been in the camp since she was 10. When she leaves the camp she realizes how little she knows and how the world just went on outside the fences of her camp. She is stronger than she thinks and so much better than her main adversary even if he thinks he knows so much. 

I spent the last 10 pages saying "No Ruby, don't do it" while my heart was breaking and I was wishing for a happier ending, but I guess it makes sense that it wasn't the happily ever after ending since there are three more books to go. Though as I learned from my time in the world of Divergent and Game of Thrones, being a main character doesn't make one safe, not anymore!!!!

I need to know if Ruby can fix what she has done. I need to know Chub's fate. I need to know where Zu is. And I need Liam to keep calling Ruby darlin'. Oh and I really want Clancy to have or to get his ass handed to him!!!

(Finished July 22, 2018)